


Our Past

by chrisemrys



Series: Destiny Tales [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Hugging, Kind of Watch The Serie story, Kissing, M/M, Soft Touching, mention of other characters, mention of other/past ships (mostly arwen and freylin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-17 14:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 38,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/868506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrisemrys/pseuds/chrisemrys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Comfort from Avalon. Merlin finally shares all the secrets of their past with Arthur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Dears!
> 
> Here is the third story in Destiny Tales! It is the one currently In Progress! I plan a chapter by episode (so be prepared for LONG chapters XD). Please be aware it is a long and hard process to write this story. Please be patient, and rest reassured, I will NEVER discontinue any stories!
> 
> Note that I do plan to write Merlin and Arthur's first time as a Bonus, it will come after the Epilogue ;)

The flames of the fire reflected on Merlin and Arthur as they sat side by side on the rug in front of it. They had come back from Lake Avalon, and as Merlin promised he would tell Arthur everything. Except he couldn’t start. All his life he had hid his magic, and now he was afraid of the consequences of telling Arthur the whole truth.

Arthur watched Merlin as his internal battle was obvious. It saddened him, because he genuinely wasn’t angry at him. All he wanted was to learn more about magic from Merlin. He wanted to learn more about _Merlin_.

“Come one Merlin, you can tell me everything” he started, fondness slipping in his tone. “I am serious when I say I understand. I don’t hate you. I just want the truth. No matter what it is.”

Merlin smiled faintly. “But you could hate me after that.”

“No.” The king replied, startling Merlin from the firmness in the single word. “Do you think I’m blind? Do you think I don’t see how much scared you are? How much you genuinely care? No matter you have done, I know you never meant bad. And honestly, my father has done many bad things.” The blond now knew how much it was true, as now he understood not all magic was evil. “So please Merlin…” he trailed off, vulnerability crossing his face.

He knew Merlin must have suffered all these years. And he hated that. He wanted Merlin to share his burdens with him, like Arthur himself had done with Merlin.

“Alright.” The warlock agreed, a faint blush on his face. He had seen what was truly in Arthur’s heart. He had seen the genuine care, and it gave him the strength he needed. “I’ll explain everything that happened since I met you. But first, I should start by telling you that…” he paused, a bit unsure. Arthur put his hand on his, gently pushing him to speak. Merlin sighed, looking down. “That I am born with magic.” He finished, glancing as surprise crossed the other man’s face.

“Isn’t that… Impossible?” he asked.

“Well, Yes. I am the only one like that. I could move object even before I talked or walked.”

Once again, surprise grabbed Arthur. “Without spell then?”

“Yes, I didn’t need them. My magic has always been a part of me, like a limb I can control. And like the blood in my veins.”

“And… you said no one is like you? What about… Morgana?” he winced at the mention of his sister.

“She is born with the ability of seeing the future, and with magical abilities. It is only as she grew up that it developed.”

“So you mean… At best others can be born with capacities that awaken later, but no one except you had it since the beginning?”

“Exactly. For me it has always been an instinct. I would stop a falling object mid-air while everyone else would try to catch it with their hands.” He stopped, letting Arthur digest this.

The blond was indeed shocked. It sounded like Merlin had great magic. The prospect that Merlin could be powerful, and had chosen to stay his servant-and was happy to be, like he had once said-humbled him.

“But then… How did you manage to hide it in your village?”

“My mom explained to me it could be dangerous. She raised me to try hiding it, like you can raise someone to try controlling their emotions. I managed not to do any blatant magic.” A smile appeared on his face. “But sometimes, I would play pranks with Will.”

Realization hit Arthur. “He lied for you this day. He knew who you were, but lied to protect you.”

“Will didn’t know right away. I accidentally used magic in front of him as we were teenagers. I was so used to him, and he was my best friend. I forgot to hide.” Merlin smiled fondly yet sadly. “He took it well. If you don’t count the slap on the head and the ‘Idiot’.” He chuckled at the memory.

Arthur smiled too, happy Will had been such a good friend. Curiously, Arthur asked, “And with your mom? Did she let you use magic when you were alone?”

“Oh yes. She was afraid for me, but she always loved watching me do little tricks. And I always loved making her smile with it.”

The other male smiled fondly, not being surprised. Even knowing he had magic, he understood Merlin was the same he had always known. Only this part of him-his magic-had been hidden.

“Can you show me?” Arthur requested. He really wanted to see by himself.

Merlin’s eyes widened. He eyed his friend, hesitant. But the blue eyes that gently watched him patiently was all the reassurance he needed. He put his palm between them, his eyes glowing gold as his magic rushed to his command, happy and eager to finally be revealed to Arthur. A blue ball of light appeared, white surging inside.

Arthur, who had been mesmerized by the golden glow of Merlin’s eyes, gasped. “That’s the one! When I went for the Morteus flower, it saved me!” He stared at Merlin. “But you were dying!”

Merlin smiled. “I’ll explain when we get here.”

Arthur pouted slightly, wanting more than ever to learn more about his friend. Merlin let the ball over, its glow warming both of their face. Both were subtly watching the other, admiring the glow on each other face.

Merlin then kept talking. “One day, my mother learned that Will knew. She was very freaked out. It didn’t help that the villagers were shunning me out more and more.” He looked down. “They were getting suspicious. They always felt I wasn’t normal.”

Arthur frowned at Merlin’s words. He didn’t like the way he sounded, as if he believed what the villagers thought. It pained him even more when he remembered when Merlin had said to him he didn’t fit in his village anymore, when he had asked why he left Ealdor all these years ago, when they knew each other less than a year. Was it the result of his father’s reign? The greatest friend he ever had living each day under not-so-gentle look and hiding all his life in fear of death and hate? Arthur clenched his fist. As much as he loved his father, this part of his reign was one he truly hated now.

Merlin saw the emotions crossing Arthur. It touched him the man he secretly loved didn’t think like everyone else. He took Arthur’s hand in his, relaxing it. Arthur jumped lightly, and smiled at his friend. He nodded to him, telling him to continue.

“My mother decided to send me to Gaius. She wanted me safe, and she believed he could help me.” Merlin smiled fondly. “And that’s when my life really changed…”

_To be continued…_


	2. The Dragon's Call

“You should have seen me when I arrived at Camelot. It was so different-so lively.” Merlin recalled with a soft smile. It made Arthur smile too. “However, I soon realized why my mom had always been so worried.” At Arthur’s confused look, he explained. “In Ealdor, the most I feared was to be hated. I didn’t realize I could be executed for that. Well, my mom had explained to me the danger, but you know, until you are confronted with it, it seems far away from you.”

“What happened?” The king asked. The way Merlin was talking, he knew he had witnessed something that had the effect of cold water.

“I had just set foot in the courtyard when they executed Thomas Collins.” He still remembered the man and his name. How could he not, when it had been what had opened his eyes on what he was risking? “I… I suddenly understood my mom, how she had freaked out when she learned Will knew. I couldn’t look away, even when they…” He paused, wincing. “Because It could have been me.” He finished.

Merlin glanced at Arthur, and noticed the man was frozen, horrified. “Arthur?”

The blond stared at his friend. He had seen the execution from his window-where he had always preferred watching when his father didn’t force him to be at his side. Sometimes, he thought they deserved it, sometimes he felt sympathy for those who had seemed innocent. But to suddenly be in the shoes of another-someone who was seeing himself in a possible future-and especially Merlin… He too suddenly realized the fear that his father had given in the heart of people. And to be honest, it sent shivers down his spine.

Arthur snapped out of his state when he heard Merlin calling. “I’m so sorry about that. I wish I…” He wished what? Not to have been blind? Not to have sought the approval of his father so much he killed innocent?

Merlin gently took his hand. “You couldn’t know Arthur. It’s not your fault; you had been raised to believe the evil of magic. If you feel like you did wrong, then do right now. The most important is to learn from our mistakes.”

Merlin’s wisdom always surprised Arthur. It had always appeared when unexpected-and so often when he needed it. “You’re right Merlin.” He nodded to his friend with a smile, silently telling him to continue his tale.

Merlin was about to tell him about meeting Gaius, but then he remembered a detail. Arthur had been insistent Merlin told him everything he could remember about magic. “Thomas’ mother then appeared. I felt sad for her, especially since I could picture my mom in her place. But then she started threatening your father… and then she vanished. I was so confused, and my magic wanted me to go away.”

“Why?”

“I couldn’t understand why she would want to do wrong with her magic. And her magic felt wrong. I understand now that my magic was repulsed by the dark magic she used.”

Arthur blinked. “You mean magic doesn’t like… darkness?”

“In a way, yes. Magic isn’t good nor evil. The same spell could be used to help or destroy.” To illustrate, he created a little flame in his hand. “I could warm a fire with that, or burn someone. Magic just do what I ask for. But dark magic are spells that twist the soul and magic. Their intent taint the magic called for it, and magic doesn’t like that. That’s why someone with untainted magic feels the instinct to recoil from dark magic-as much as the instinct to destroy it.”

“I see… I would have never thought that.” Arthur frowned as something hit him. “Wait, you speak of magic like it is a person. Is it?”

“I don’t really know the answer to that. It exists everywhere, and those who learn to can direct it. Sometimes, people are born with magic in them. It feels like it is alive, when you think of it. It cans even acts when you’re asleep or unconscious.”

“It certainly sounds like it has a mind of its own.” Arthur agreed.

There was a minute of silence as Arthur processed this. He was learning so much about magic-things he never thought before. The fact that Merlin was the one teaching him all of that was… wonderful. Arthur loved the sparkle in his eyes when the raven-haired spoke about magic. A blush crept on his cheeks as the thought it was endearing crept in his mind.

Merlin arched an eyebrow, but Arthur just gestured for him to keep on. “After I get other my shock, I went to find Gaius.” A small smile appeared on his face. “My mom had told me he could help me. I was excited, because I wanted to learn more about these powers I had and what I could do.” Merlin chuckled. “At that time… I had never studied magic or spells. All I knew about magic is that it was in me, and that it answered to me like my arms and legs. And of course, that it could do things that seems normally impossible.”

Arthur felt pained. If he had been discovered at that time, he would have been killed for something he didn’t control. For something he didn’t even understand. Arthur would have said it would have been like killing him because he had been born a prince, but it sounded wrong. Because at least, Arthur had been raised to know what a prince is, and what to do. Merlin didn’t even have that at that time.

“My encounter with Gaius was… memorable.” It was Arthur’s turn to arch an eyebrow. “When I went inside, he was up, looking through books. I called for him, and he leaned back. It just happened so fast then. The railing broke down and he fell. I feared for his life, and the idea of hiding my magic flew out the window. I just slowed down time and pushed his bed under him.”

“S-Slow down time?” Arthur spluttered. Not only he had thought that impossible-but really the word should vanish when it came to magic and Merlin-but Merlin had done that with no knowledge of magic. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. “Merlin? How powerful are you?”

“Er… Well… I still am learning about me and my magic…”

“But?”

“I… have been told I am the most powerful wizard who has ever lived and who will ever live.”

Merlin bit his lips as Arthur’s jaws dropped. A ‘what’ had been squeaked, but now his king was speechless. He knew he had dropped a big pin, he just hoped it wasn’t too big.

For his part, Arthur felt shocked-but more importantly, he felt awed. He had had an inkling Merlin was powerful, but not to this point. And to think he had chosen to remain his servant-to be his best friend. What did Arthur do to deserve him? Did he even really deserve him?

Merlin’s eyes narrowed. Oops, Arthur had spoken out loud. “You’re the only one I would ever serve, Arthur. I want to use my powers for you, and only you. No one deserve it more than you.”

“Thank you Merlin.” Arthur could only reply, red-faced and happiness bumbling in his chest.

“So, I saved Gaius. Then he kind of charged on me. He was all like ‘What did you do?’ and ‘Where did you study?’ and ‘Tell me the truth!’. I was so scared he would report me I could only answer him. My heart was beating so hard, especially when he heard me say I was born like this and said it was impossible.”

“Gaius didn’t know about that?”

“I told you, I am the first like that. And probably the last.” Seeing Arthur’s questioning glance, he said mysteriously. “It comes with being Emrys.” He laughed when Arthur seemed even more confused, but he just told him “Later.”

“Gaius eventually asked me who I am, and I felt relieved when he brightened when I told him I was Merlin.  He let me put my things in my future room, and I just had to ask if he would say anything.”

Arthur could only think ‘Of course, he just had witnessed an execution.’

“As you can guess, he didn’t. He thanked me instead, and I suddenly knew things would be okay. That he would help me. I was so happy, and to top that the view I had from my window was so beautiful. I already loved the city, and I remember thinking I may have found somewhere I could fit.”

Merlin and Arthur exchanged a smile. They both knew now that Merlin did fit here-more than anywhere.

Taking a mysterious air, Merlin said “Though, a creepy voice started calling me in my sleep. I thought I dreamed it, but later I discovered I didn’t.” Arthur opened his mouth to ask, but close it when he heard the emphasis on ‘later’. He just pouted, making Merlin chuckle.

“Gaius decided to test me then. I was eating my breakfast when he made a bucket of water fell. I stopped it mid-air by reflex, but when I saw his shocked face, I realized what I had done and I released it. I think he was still baffled by the day before, and wanted to know how I was doing magic exactly. He questioned me, thinking I cast a spell in my mind.”

“So magical users can cast spells in their minds?” Arthur asked-thinking of Morgause and her tower of fire. She hadn’t cast a spell at that time-well, not one he had heard.

 “Yes, in fact it is what happens when you see someone doing magic and there’s no spell said aloud. Though, only strong sorcerers can do that-and generally small spells. To my knowledge, we are only four who has been able to use stronger spells while casting in our mind: Morgana-once she gained more power, Morgause, Mordred and me.”

Arthur frowned as Merlin bit out the three names. It surprised him to hear the young druid boy’s name, but he could guess Merlin knew something he didn’t. It meant that out of the four, Merlin was the only one on his side.

“Gaius just stared at me as I mopped the floor-without magic. I was afraid to use my magic again. Beside, most of the times I used it only by reflex. I always knew how to move objects purposely, but as I grew up I hardly used my magic purposely. That was too dangerous.”

Arthur clenched his fist. The more he listened, the more he hated the moment he was reminded Merlin had been afraid and had to hide. At least, he could amend for all these years, now that he knew.

“Anyway, he sent me to deliver some of his potions-until I could feel a paid work. He already worried for me, warning me to be careful. That was when I met you for the first time.”

They smiled at each other, remembering.

“I thought you were simply a knight, and you reminded me of bullies at Ealdor. I always had a big mouth, it gave me and Will a lot of trouble-though Will was half-responsible most of the time. Thankfully, my magic often acted up subtly.”

Arthur chuckled with Merlin. “I can see that. That makes me think… You said at that time that I shouldn’t attack you… Did you..?”

“Not this time. I knew my magic could act up to protect me. However, it didn’t. I guess it knew already who you were-and who you would be. I’m glad it didn’t, I wanted to slap myself when you told me you were the Prince.”

Arthur smiled weakly. To be honest, he wasn’t proud. He had really changed now, but who he had been always shame him now.

“So, I slept into jail, and I heard the voice again. It woke me, and I realized it wasn’t a dream. Though Gaius arrived at that moment, so I kind of forgot. I got me out, but instead I met the stock for the first time. I met Gwen for the first time too, she came and introduced herself. We kind of hit on right away.”

They shared a smile. Gwen was a friend to both of them, and it didn’t surprise Arthur that Gwen and Merlin became friend fast.

“After that, I wanted to talk to Gaius about my gift. He said I was special-at that time I didn’t really know how much. It was then that I learned that magic was usually studied for years, that spells were needed. As he said, I was a question that had never been asked before. I wondered about the ban of magic too. When Gaius told me people used it badly, I couldn’t understand why.”

Arthur’s eyes became sad. To think Merlin hadn’t even fathom the idea of magic used evilly…

“Now I know it wasn’t really the case. People really started using it at wrong ends after the Purge started. I am not saying there was no evil magic user, but they were less numerous. Anyway, I first met Lady Helen-well Marie Collins-when I went to give her a preparation. I could feel the dark magic, but I didn’t know what it was at the time. All I knew is that I was repulsed, and when I handed her the potion, I almost ran away. It was unsettling. I still don’t like the feeling of dark magic, to be honest.”

Merlin shuddered. The particular memory of the formorroh came to his mind, and he unconsciously edged closer to Arthur. The king noticed that, and before he could think, he rubbed Merlin’s arm comfortingly.

“Then we met again. I… did use magic then.”

“Really? What did you do?” Arthur was curious. He remembered wondering how much he would have to do for the ‘peasant’ to bow down to him-and how he had almost lost.

“When you were coming on me as I fell on the hay, I wrapped the chain of the mace around the two sickles. I made the box go into your way so you could bump your toe into it. I stretched the rope to make you fall. And I put the bucket behind to make you fall again. Then I saw Gaius, and I suddenly knew I had deceived him. Then you beat me.”

Ah, that explained how Arthur had been so… clumsy.

“Gaius reprimanded me when we get back to our rooms. I told him you needed a lesson, and he replied magic should be studied, mastered and used for good, not for pranks. I was a bit angry, to be honest. I could move object with my mind before I could talk. I couldn’t see what I had to master. Gaius told me I should know how to control myself. I admit he was right-though I still like to play pranks now sometimes-but at that time. I didn’t want to. I feel like, if I can’t use magic, I have nothing left.”

Arthur noticed the use of the present, and he almost interrupted with a complaint. But he decided against it. The small sent his way was proof Merlin knew Arthur didn’t agree.

“At that time, I… thought I was a nobody without it. That I might as well die.”

This time, Arthur did protest. “I hope you don’t think that anymore, Merlin.”

“No! Not really… I mean, I have a place here now. But I don’t ever want to lose my magic. “ After all, Merlin was only human. Sometimes, he had doubts, and like anyone, he could feel down. “Gaius came to heal me then-I had stormed into my room. I asked why I was like that. I felt… like a monster. I was so unnatural, and villagers often said to me I was weird. Kids called me a monster-their preferred word because they couldn’t understand me.” Merlin snorted, but the pain of these years was still there.

Arthur edged closer, making their arms brush. The raven-haired glanced at the blond, seeking the comfort he knew would be in his eyes.

“You’re going to know who called me in my sleep.” Merlin commented cheerily. “The creepy voice was back again, and this time I woke up fully and went to investigate.” He paused, reminding of something. “You know, my magic often agree with me when I want to help someone I like. I remember mentally adjusting Gaius’ cover. Then I followed the voice. I had to pass close to the dungeons, but that wasn’t a problem. Some magic to make the dice roll away, and the guards were chasing it!” They both laughed-though Arthur made a mental note to form his guards better.

Merlin hesitated a bit, gathering his courage. “I… met the Great Dragon.”

Arthur stared wide eyed. “The same who attacked Camelot?”

Merlin winced. “Yes. But please, don’t judge him. He helped me a lot, and he was bitter. He made a mistake he now regrets.”

Arthur noticed Merlin’s guilt underlining his voice. He could tell the dragon and Merlin were close, and now that he knew Merlin better…

He wouldn’t be surprised if Merlin was the one who released him. Especially when he could remember Merlin saying he had make mistake he regretted-that he feared would make Arthur hate him.

But he had been honest when he said he couldn’t hate him. The only thing that went through his mind was that Merlin must had a reason if he really freed the dragon.

“You know, it was probably the only time he called me by my name. He loves calling me Young Warlock.” He commented with an amused voice.

“What is a warlock?”

“Basically, it’s me. I mean, there are the sorcerer and sorceress who learn magic. Then there’s the witch and wizard who are born with magical potential-like Morgana. There’s the druids-a mix of the two. Some druids are trained by the others, some like Mordred had potential at birth. But they mainly are interested in nature. Finally, there’s me-who was born magical. Kilgarrah is the only one who knows the term and what it means-being a dragon and all.”

It took some confused second before Arthur realized Kilgarrah was the dragon.

“He started talking about destiny, while I was still amazed.”

“He talked?” Arthur exclaimed.

“Of course, he is not a beast.” Merlin replied. Arthur blushed slightly, feeling he would have offended the dragon if he was here-and that he had half-offended Merlin. “He told me my gifts had been given for a reason. I was so happy to have a purpose.”

Arthur smiled softy-albeit a bit sadly. It was good to hear the hope coming into his voice, but it still saddened him to know how he had lived before. Getting out of his thoughts, he realized Merlin was looking at him proudly.

“He told me that you are The Once and Future King. That you will unite the land of Albion in an era of peace and prosperity. That you would face many threats from friends and foes. That I was needed to make sure you succeed.  Recently, I understood I was literally born to protect you-that it had been the will of magic.”

Arthur felt butterflies in his stomach. Merlin was born to protect him? For him? He was really going to be a good king? Arthur could only keep listening, awed.

“I didn’t understand. I saw you as a bully. Kilgarrah said no one can choose or escape our destiny. However, it is  more like… a path that will at some point in our life appear, and that you can take it or not. You can’t choose which path will appear, you can’t escape the path for appearing to you-but you can choose not to follow it. Or to divert from it, even if you do take it.” Merlin beamed at Arthur. “As you can guess, I followed my path, and I never regretted it. I love this path.” Not only his path, Merlin thought with a slight blush. “Though, I commented you were an idiot. I wasn’t against the idea fully, but I wasn’t happy about it at that time. That first changed when he commented it may be up to me to change that.”

“And you did.” Arthur admitted, making Merlin smile.

“Oh, I met Morgana the following day. That had been… funny-for lack of better word. She went straight behind her changing screen, and I soon realized she thought I was Gwen!” Arthur laughed at that. “Thankfully, Gwen arrived when Morgana needed help for her fastening.”

“Finally, the feast came. I talked with Gwen again, though poor girl she was babbling. It was awkward. When Lady Helen started singing, I felt right away that something was wrong. My magic protected me. When everyone started falling asleep, I protected my ears-although it wasn’t needed. But I can tell you, the appearing cobwebs were creepy. As she came toward you… I had no hesitation. I dropped the luster on her. Then she threw her knife, and I slowed down time so I could take you out of harm way in time. I guess I instinctively knew not to stop it mid-air. That would have been blatant.”

“Indeed. And then, you became my manservant.”

“I did. Gaius gave me his magic book he received at my age a bit later. He said he had finally found a use for it-and I admit, it made me happy. I had found my purpose… my destiny.”

Arthur had to glanced down when Merlin gazed at him fondly. “Where is it now? We searched your room more than once, and never found it.”

“The first time, it had on the floor. I managed to hide it under a cover while I distracted you. After all, I put it under a loose floorboard.”

“Sneaky warlock, that’s what you are.” Arthur teased.

“Of course I am! How else could I save your backside?” Merlin joked back.

They shared a good laugh, before Merlin launched into the next story…

_To be continued…_


	3. Valiant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Arthur becomes a couple in this chapter! ;)

“My next story starts the day after.”

Arthur smirked. “Ah, with our first training session?”

“With your first beating session you mean?” Merlin grumbled. “You should have seen me when I came back to Gaius, I heard clanging!”

Arthur had the decency to blush, a bit ashamed. “Well, I wanted to know how long you will keep not bowing down to me. I’m glad you never did.”

Merlin smiled. “Agreed. Who know how much of a prat you would have become if I did?” he teased. Arthur glared. “Alright, let’s go back to the story. Gaius gave me a massage, and I used my first spell to make a book come to me. I was so happy to have learned some of them that I wanted to try. Plus, it felt great to be able to tame and rein my magic.”

Arthur gave him a surprised look. “Tame and rein? What do you mean?”

“Well, usually my magic is like a raging storm, bubbling just there. Obviously, I manage not to let it break out, but if I get angry or distressed… It can snap. But when I use spells, it calms down a bit and the right amount goes to do what I want.” He explained.

Arthur nodded along, all the while trying to picture how it felt to have so much power just there. To be always on guard. The king thought that Merlin was really strong then. Both in his abilities as a warlock and mentally-and probably more than Merlin realized himself. Two words caught his attention. “Right amount? What do you mean?”

Merlin thought back to the first time he had really snapped. “Well, if I don’t use spells, my magic just goes and does what I want. The first time it happened… Let’s just say that someone got completely… lightning-ed out of existence.”

Both Arthur’s eyebrows rose in surprise and astonishment. The implication that Merlin could kill with one thought-and that he did-should scare him, but it only reminded him of his amazement that such a kind yet powerful being was _his_.

His protector, he thought quickly, but he could still hear the part of his heart he recently started hearing screaming for Merlin to really be his-in all senses. And that maybe, such fierce loyalty and devotion marked a similar feeling.

Arthur nodded for Merlin to continue, trying to tame his quick-beating heart.

“As you may guess, it earned me a slap on the head from Gaius. I tried defending myself by saying I would have pick it up myself if I felt my arms, but he told me what would he do if I got caught. He really prefers if I don’t do magic when unnecessary. I kept using it for pranks and menial tasks for a while, though with time I did it less and less. Doesn’t mean I still don’t do these sorts of things sometimes.” The warlock finished with an impish smirk, winking at Arthur-who suddenly knew he had been on the receiving hands of pranks without his knowledge.

“Anyway, at that time it was hard getting used to all my duties. I didn’t realize yet the duties you had. Of course, I do now.”

“And you help me through them. I hope you know that, Merlin.” Arthur commented softly with a fond look.

Merlin glanced down with a light blush, pleased to have Arthur finally acknowledge him and his help. “Thank you Arthur. I do all I can for you.” Their eyes met, both taking notice of the fondness in each other’s face. For what seemed like hours, they stared at each other; searching. Wondering if they could find the same feeling deep into their heart and soul into the other.

The moment was broken when the fire crackled a bit.

“A-After that, I asked Gwen to show me how to correctly put an armor.” Merlin admitted.

“Though, you still had trouble the first time.” Arthur chuckled.

“And you couldn’t admit you were nervous.” Merlin cheekily retorted.

“I don’t get nervous!” Arthur exclaimed, then deflated and frowned when Merlin raised an eyebrow. “I don’t show it.” He amended. “At least I didn’t forget my sword.”

It was Merlin’s turn to glare, though it was kind of adorable with the blush of embarrassment. Then Arthur realized the thought he just had and coughed slightly, making a gesture to indicate that Merlin should tell the rest of the story.

“I admit, I was impressed. It was the first tournament I was seeing, and having all these knights here ready to battle… Even though one of them was Valiant.” Merlin almost spat out the name. Arthur narrowed his eyes at the mention of the man, then couldn’t determine the feeling he got when hearing his friend’s obvious distaste of someone who had tried to kill him. It was a cross between happiness, smugness and pride-with a bit of awe. He could almost see himself grinning down at the cheating bastard, bragging about his warlock. His mind started going toward a proper reward for Merlin, but suddenly not all his thoughts were… appropriate, and he quickly turned back to Merlin talking again.

“Anyway, I… loved to see you fight. I still do. Though it bothered me when I started realizing your father put pressure on you.” Arthur gave him a small smile. “I knew you loved fighting, but I also knew you couldn’t really appreciate fully. I know you consider every fight is a test of your strength and kingship, but you have to admit, you didn’t need certain pressure.”

Arthur wondered about that a bit, and realized Merlin was right. He would have felt better if he wasn’t practically forced to win. If he had known he would not deceive if he lost. Of course, the will of winning ran in his blood, but still. The raven-haired also proved he really understood him-better than himself sometimes.

A sudden thought occurred to him, and he blurted out, “I want to train you. I mean, I know you can defend yourself, but what if… what if you needed to protect yourself without magic?”

Merlin blinked, wondering about that. He wasn’t sure it could happen, but at the same time, who knew what the future would bring? He might need to hide his magic because of something, and to be honest, Merlin really preferred if he had others tools to help him.

Of course, Arthur had often trained with him, so he knew the basics, but he understood very well Arthur’s request. His king wanted to really train him, make sure he had more than basics. Merlin wasn’t against the idea, the fact he would more spend time with Arthur also helped. Knowing he would have his full attention, that he would be an equal, that Arthur would be making sure he was safe…

“Yeah, I would love that. I don’t think I’ll turn as good as a knight, but yes, let’s do that.”

Arthur almost affirmed that Merlin could find himself better than he thought, but he remained silent. He would show him, instead.

“I cheered you, you know? I always cheer for you.” Merlin told Arthur. “I also noticed right away Valiant. I wonder now if my magic already knew his ill intention. It wouldn’t surprise me.”

“That explained your creep comment. And to be honest, I felt the same. I didn’t like his attitude.” Arthur also remembered realizing Merlin and he seemed to get along nicely-agreeing even-before giving him chores to hide his uneasiness at taking notice of a bond different than master and servant.

The king could admit it now, the moment Merlin had voiced exactly his train of thoughts about Valiant, he thought they would make good friends-before remembering it had been his servant who had just talked.

Merlin suddenly chuckled, earning an amused and wondering look. “You gave le so many chores, and I wanted to study my magic book. So I did all my chores by magic, while reading my book. Though Gaius entered, and I had to drop everything. I believed he would berate me, but he refrained from it. After all, his look was enough.”

Arthur barked out a laugh, picturing the scene with no problem. The second after, something pushed him down. He glanced up, but saw only Merlin smirking from where he had not moved. Then, he realized the other man had used magic. Arthur growled and sat up, almost pouncing on his manservant.

But his mind went back to the feeling of Merlin’s magic-a gentle warmth even though its teasing task. Merlin tilted his head, curious. “What it is, Arthur?” He feared it had been too soon, but the wondering and hesitant look on his king’s face indicated he only had a request.

“I… How does your magic feel?” I wished I could feel it fully, was left unsaid but clear between them.

Merlin widened his eyes, then beamed. His magic had reacted, knowing what to do-so eager that it had planted the answer in his mind. “Here.”

Merlin took Arthur’s hands in his, brushing his fingers on his palm in slight reassurance, before his magic rushed between them and toward The Once and Future King-the man his magic loved as much as Merlin did.

Arthur startled as a rush of warmth first assaulted him, then a brush of gentleness. Power licked at his hands, then surged inside him-Merlin’s power. He trembled with a soft gasp, both at the sheer amount and the storm it was. Yet, all the while he instinctively knew it was only a tiny bit-one his body could accept without damages.

His heart fluttered as the magic between them guided his soul toward something that felt pure, and when devotion and admiration glowed and enveloped him, he guessed then that it was Merlin’s soul.

Merlin, for his part, had shivers running down his spine at feeling Arthur so _close_ to him. He received the blunt of Arthur’s good-hearted nature, his fairness, then the glory he possessed inside him. He gasped as he too felt Arthur’s soul, so good and brilliant.

Both parted suddenly when love filtered from each other, unbidden and strong. Their eyes opened-both realizing they had closed them very soon at the beginning-and they met. Gold swirled for a second in each other’s gazes, before only blue remained. Both could not deny the love, as both had felt it. Both had been able to feel the own love they carry, and the love of the other.

Arthur raised a hand slowly, hesitant yet not even wishing to stop. Merlin licked his lips, his breath coming out in quick puffs as Arthur’s hand touched his cheek. A tender look appeared on the king’s face, his fingers stroking oh so lightly. Merlin leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering close with a soft sigh. Then he leaned toward Arthur, his whole being singing with a joy he had never felt before. Arthur mirrored the other man’s movement, his body and soul filled with a warmth he never thought was possible.

Merlin finally brushed his lips with his love, his destiny. Arthur sighed, surprising himself by thinking _finally_. They stayed close, locked into a chaste kiss, before parting by an inch-eyes still closed.

“I have loved you for so long. I never realized what I felt was love until I experienced once what it was. I now know I have loved you from the first days by your side.” Merlin revealed, trembling from the warm breath he could feel on his face-so close.

“I believe I have too. But it was so strong; I never realized what it was-until Gwen left me. Then, I started realizing what I feel for you was more than I thought.” Then something registered. “You have loved someone else?”

His question held no jealousy or anger-only curiosity. They opened their eyes, Merlin giving him a sad smile. “Yes… Like you loved Gwen. But some months ago, I realized how much stronger my love for you is.”

Arthur nodded, knowing his loved for Gwen, as real as it had been, had been nothing to the one he had for Merlin. The warlock obviously experienced exactly the same thing. “Who is it? Do I know this person?”

By now, they had parted fully. They had all the time to enjoy their newfound relationship, to freely love each other. For now, talking was more important.

Merlin went into Arthur’s laps, settling against his chest-smiling softly as two strong arms immediately enveloped his waist and a nose nuzzled his hairs with affection. “This is a story for later. It is part of our past. But yes, you kind of knew her.” Merlin replied, a sad undertone in his voice. Arthur clenched tighter, sensing something had gone wrong. “Okay, let’s continue Valiant’s story, shall we?” The blond man offered, willing to patiently wait for Merlin each story. “He got what he deserved, in the end. Do you know he made me jealous?” he decided to admit, not minding sharing like Merlin shared. “Though now, I can’t believe I had eyes on Morgana.”

Merlin snorted. “Well, you didn’t know she was your half-sister. And I don’t think your father would have agreed to a marriage, if it ever came to that.” Merlin frowned. “Though we can’t know.”

Arthur felt a shiver ran down his spine. “Anyway! Keep going, _love_.”

Merlin flushed brightly-satisfaction at hearing the sweet sword and tone filling him. “The next day, while I was taking your armor, I heard the snakes hiss. When I looked at the shield, one blinked. Valiant put his sword under my nose when I went to touch it. He was so menacing; I felt something was off, but all I could think of was to run away with your armor.”

Arthur clutched slightly, not liking the fact Merlin had been so close to danger, and wondering how many times it happened, how far danger grabbed his warlock-a poisoned chalice coming to mind. “Running toward me? I’m glad you seek safety from me.” He half-teased, also being serious. It didn’t matter if Merlin was an all-powerful being. Arthur would protect him as much as Merlin has protected him every day since he arrived. No matter if it was physically, mentally or emotionally.

Merlin turned slightly with a soft smile and managed to plant a small kiss to Arthur’s jaws. “I do feel safe with you.’ He let Arthur capture his upper lips for a light nip, before continuing his tale.

“I liked seeing you all impressed and surprised by my work.”

“Even if you cheated.”                                                                            

“I didn’t cheat! I used all my abilities to do my job.” He retorted smartly. “And I really am a fast learner-in all kind of field. It helped too that I did not find everything horrible.” He commented with a smirk.

Arthur wondered if he talked about some of his tasks or Arthur himself, and settled for both.

“It is then than Sir Ewan got bitten. Gaius saw the marks when he treated him in our rooms. He showed it to me, and diagnosed that he needed the venom to do the antidote-because all symptoms lead to poisoning. I remembered quickly who he was fighting, and about the strange shield. I went straight so check I had to see by myself if I had figured out the truth. And I did get what I needed. I saw him feed the snakes with mice.” Merlin stuck out his tongue, disgusted. Arthur wrinkled his nose in answer. “I left quickly, Valiant must have heard me as he followed, but gratefully I managed to not be seen.”

“I told Gaius what I witnessed. He warned me I needed a proof to be believed when I wanted to tell you.”

Arthur sighed. “My father would have not listened otherwise. And even then… This stupid view has to change.” The blond frowned, reminding himself of his snapping at Merlin.

Merlin rubbed his hands, guessing; and focused on keeping the tale going. “So I did not tell you right away. I let the next day come, keeping an eye on Valiant. But I knew I had to act when I saw the final round would be between you and him.”

“Gaius finally agreed with me; we had to stop Valiant. He told me he needed to cure Sir Ewan, as his words would help us uncover the truth about Valiant. That is when I went to cut the snake’s head. We needed the venom, and it was also another proof.”

“Good thinking.” Arthur congratulated, realizing his friend wasn’t as stupid as everyone believed. It pained him to realize how much he had underestimated the man he loved-how much he told hurtful words to someone so clever and powerful. How Merlin had stayed loyal and kind to him when Arthur often hurt him-without his knowledge sometimes. Now that their past was uncovered, Arthur could see which things may have hurt Merlin.

Arthur felt glad that he could now amend that, and that both could be themselves-together.

“I waited for the diner, and went to his room. I used a spell to open the door-practice, you know?-then took a sword. They didn’t react right away as I touched the shield, but a door opening and footsteps outside made me turn, and one came out. I heard the hissing and saw the shadow. Thankfully, I have fast reflex. I chopped his head off when it went to bite me. The other two came out too, but I grabbed the head and left.”

“I gave it to Gaius so he could take the venom, then I came to tell you. I still remember your surprised face! You couldn’t believe it!”

Arthur chuckled. “True. Now I may not believe you if you said you _couldn’t_ do something.” He half-teased, half-wondered.

Merlin frowned a bit. “To be honest, I don’t know if I can. Do anything, I mean. There are things that seem impossible, even for me, but no one can really know. Even Kilgarrah told me he doesn’t know my magic’s limit. He says that for all he knows, I could bend to my will the laws of magic, like a life for a life, if I really snapped.” Merlin shivered. “Who knows what I can do?” he wondered aloud-fear of himself in his tone.

Arthur put his head on his shoulder, brushing his lips on his neck-just above his neckerchief. “We will figure this together. And I will never let you snap.” He smiled gently as Merlin peaked at him-a smile the warlock thought he would never receive, that would be given to only Gwen. And now, a smile so much tenderer graced Arthur’s face-directed only at him. “Plus, you are a pure and kind soul, Merlin. I felt it. You may believe you tainted yourself, but your magic showed me. You always had the purest of intention. You are still pure and innocent deep inside-you just have seen and done more than the average. More than anyone, truly. Don’t you think the fact you never lost yourself is a sign you will never be as you fear? I believe in you Merlin, and I trust you. So trust in yourself now.”

Some tears fell down Merlin’s eyes as Arthur’s words lifted a weight he never truly registered. “You are the one keeping me sane.” He admitted. With such trust from Arthur, how could he believe he had tainted his soul? How could he believe he would one day turn into a monster?

No, he realized now, it would never happen. No matter what. Because Arthur believed in him, and he would never break that. Maybe, just maybe, he could start forgiving himself for his mistakes, for the killing he had to do.

“Thank you Arthur.” The gratefulness was so heartfelt that Arthur could only grin fondly, burying his nose into his neck. “These words mean so much to me. There were so many things I did to protect you, to keep my magic secret, that I feared I was losing myself. I never forgave myself, you know? Some things…”

“Then tell me. Tell me everything and let me forgive you. Then you will be able to forgive yourself.” Arthur cut firmly. “We both did wrong in our past, but it is time we move on and do better.”

Merlin beamed, a sunny smile that reflected how much of a weight Arthur was lifting from him. “In the end, you believed me. With Valiant.”

“Well, I didn’t think you were lying. In all honesty, I think I never believed you lied. But I knew accusing Valiant-of magic of all things-would be risky. However, when you said you knew your words count for nothing, I realized you were certain of yourself. When you said you would not lie to me, I believed you.”

A guilty look flashed across Merlin’s face, and Arthur didn’t need words to guess about what. “Merlin-you had to hide your magic. I understand why. We both can’t know how it would have gone if it was revealed when my father was still alive. You had to hide for your whole life. I guess I am not surprised you could never find the right moment. It was either too soon, or too late… I am grateful my parents opened my eyes on you.”

Merlin shifted, snuggling back a bit. Now that Arthur really knew him, knew his whole being and not only one part, his king seemed to be able to read him even more than before. As well as he could read Arthur. He squeezed back the hands lying on his stomach in thanks, then spoke again.

“Then we confronted Valiant. But Sir Ewan died during the confrontation. Gaius and I thought it must have been Valiant, but we had no proof anymore.”

Arthur realized something. “You warned me not to let my father touch the shield, just in case. It doesn’t really surprise me of course, although… you may have also not care. I mean…” he bit his lips. He didn’t want to imply Merlin would let someone die just like that, but at the same time why would he care that much?

Merlin smiled. “I understand what you mean. I don’t think I ever really hated Uther, you know? What he did hurt and I may have had moments when I almost did not care, but in the end I only felt pity. Especially once I knew why he hated magic. I know he is your father, but he lost himself when your mother died. I’m just glad he is well now that he is in Avalon. And just so you know, I couldn’t let him die-because you loved him. There has been time when… I felt less sympathy for him, but in the end I didn’t want you to suffer. If you ask Kilgarrah, he will also tell you it would have hardened your heart to magic if he died because of it. I admit it was true, even if it wasn’t at the front of my mind.”

“Did you save my father then? You speak like you have been confronted with this.”

“Yes, I did. I admit I almost didn’t once, but in the end I had my eyes opened. I saved him something like three or four times-not counting when I saved all of Camelot. Even when he died, he was supposed to be saved.”

Arthur blinked. “What do you mean by that? Are you talking about this Dragoon?”

Merlin suddenly looked down, gnawing at his lips. “I am trying to tell things in order, you know? It helps understanding.” He commented with amusement-though something was obviously on his mind. “But I’ll tell you this: Dragoon really tried to save your father. But Morgana and Aggravaine were the ones to kill him.”

Arthur’s face hardened eyes like thunder. “I should have known.” Then he calmed down a bit as he felt Merlin stroking his arms. “You know Dragoon then?”

“I prefer answering this when the moment will come, if you don’t mind.”

Arthur wrinkled his nose, annoyed he had to wait for so much, but knowing he would eventually learn about everything. He nodded to let Merlin continue with the current story.

“So, it went wrong with Valiant. Once Valiant pushed you to withdraw the accusation, Gaius knew it would be dangerous to push the matter to the king again. Even if we had the snake’s head and the bite marks. My words count for nothing. It didn’t help though that I felt so angry-especially when he looked satisfied as you left.” Merlin commented bitterly.

Arthur winced. “Remind me to not do mistakes like that again.”

“I certainly will.” Merlin smirked-though he meant it. Especially if it prevented Arthur to trust the wrong person, like Aggravaine. “It angered me enough that he managed to make you seem…” he trailed off.

Both knew what he meant. Arthur had indeed been hurt when his own father wouldn’t believe him. “And to think I lashed out at you. I am so sorry, Merlin.”

“It’s fine, Arthur. I quickly understood then and I still do.”

“But I hurt you like my father hurt me!” He pushed Merlin closer, breathing in his scent. With him, he didn’t feel like he had to stay strong. He could show weakness, he could say sorry. He knew he would not be judged, that Merlin would stay by his side.

Merlin head butted him slightly in the shoulder. “Enough. You told me you would forgive me so I could too. Well, it is the same for you. I have forgiven you all these years ago, so stop feeling bad.”

Arthur smiled softly. “How can I refuse when you go all wise warlock?”

Merlin slapped his arm, his smile betraying his satisfaction. “So, you sacked me. I went straight to see Kilgarrah. I was confused and angry, and most of all sad. So I didn’t really mean what I said.” He babbled. Arthur stroked his arms to calm him down-a gesture both know would become a habit. “I told him h-he had the wrong person. I guess deep down I hoped he would help me. And he did-in his way. Once I asked how my destiny was to protect someone who hated me,” Arthur made a sound of protest, but Merlin hushed him, “He replied a half cannot hate what makes it whole. That my path and yours lies together. I was frustrated at that time-him and his riddle, I bed he loves seeing me confused by them-but now I guess I understand.” Merlin blushed, glancing down shyly. Arthur gave him a fond look at the display, but chose to simply stroke his thumbs in his palms. “We did make peace after Valiant was killed, and I guess I understand the whole ‘coin’ thing now.”

Arthur then did smirk, kissing his love’s flaming cheek. “I think I do too.”

Merlin coughed. “Ahem! He told me it was not the end but only the beginning before flying off. I swear, he almost never gives me a straight answer. It seems like magic comes with riddles.” He snorted.

“Later, as I was deep in thought in Camelot’s courtyard, Gwen came and talked to me. She wanted to know if it was true about Valiant, and what I was going to do. She told me I had to prove everyone wrong, that I was right. It was one of the times she unknowingly helped me.”

Arthur chuckled. It didn’t really surprise him.

“I suddenly had an idea. I brought back one dog statue in my room, to try getting it to come to life with a spell I had passed over once-so I could show the snakes.”

“Ah! That’s why Valiant was surprised!”

“Yeah. Though I admit, I spend the whole night trying. When I came to see you, I had stopped because I was frustrated.”

“Really? How come?” Arthur questioned, not sure what it meant Merlin had taken the whole night.

“Well, even if I have powers, it takes time to learn to direct it-to properly use the spells. The spell I could already use were centering on moving objects-something I already did before. This was new. However, I will let you know I still learned faster, compared to others. I _am_ a fast learner-even more with magic.”

“So one night isn’t in fact long to learn a spell?”

“No. For someone else, it might have taken days, at best. And considering the nature of the spell, I would even say weeks. These corresponding to a sorcerer of a good level-like Morgause.”

Arthur digested this, happy to learn a bit more about magic. To learn a bit more about Merlin, and his world of magic.

“When you explained why you wouldn’t withdraw, I understood without agreeing. I knew I had to succeed. I guess it is what gave me the strength to stay all night until the roost crowed. I was half-asleep, but I kept casting. It finally worked-though I think it helped I was almost sleeping. My magic acted up on its own, I believe.”

Arthur smiled fondly. Wasn’t he lucky to have Merlin here for him? “You know, Morgana came to help me put my armor. She was really worried.” He couldn’t help but remember.

“She genuinely cared. But once she realized she had magic… It went downhill from here. Uther and Morgause are at fault, but I am too. I maybe didn’t help her like I should have.” Merlin guiltily admitted.

Arthur glanced at Merlin. “Is it part of one of the mistakes you feared I would hate you for?”

“… Yes. Though the exact mistake hadn’t been told yet. I…”

“Merlin… Tell me in order, remember? I have to see things as you did.”

Merlin smiled. “You are right. So, it worked eventually. And the dog almost bit my head off! I left quickly, slamming the door shut and warning Gaius not to go into my room. Knowing him, he might have taken a peek.” He chuckled.

“I arrived in the middle of the fight and waited for the right moment to cast. Thankfully, it worked right away.” Merlin frowned. “Thinking back on it, it still endangered you.”

“You did what you could. Gaius could have made an antidote again, and Valiant was exposed. In the end, he was killed and I wasn’t hurt.” Arthur reassured.

“And you hired me again.” Merlin added. “Though you never bought me that drink!” he joked.

Arthur smirked. He leaned into his ear, licking the shell lightly-which earn him a yelp. Then he whispered huskily, “Well, maybe I should _make it up_ to you?” The meaning if these words made quite… clear by his wandering hands.

Merlin stopped their travel south, clearing his throat and turning scarlet. “Ah… Uh-I… Let me finish will you?” he squeaked, his voice wavering.

Arthur gave a low laugh, but relented. “Well, let’s start the next story then!”

_To be continued…_


	4. The Mark of Nimueh

“My next story starts days later. Maybe weeks. I don’t remember clearly. However, I remember when Gaius and I went to investigate on a dead man-face down into the street. I asked Gaius if he wasn’t scared to catch whatever it was; but he replied it’s his job. For my part, I stayed away.”

Arthur smirked. “Afraid to catch whatever it was?” Then he frowned in worry. “Wait. Could you? Catch a sickness?”

Merlin shrugged. “I’m not sure to be honest. I’m pretty sure my magic protects me. But I have no idea how much. However, it is true that I don’t remember myself falling ill. Unless something magical hit me.”

Arthur nodded. “And even then, your magic would still protect you?”

Merlin thought back of when he saw the Cailleach; when he suddenly felt cold. “I pretty sure it did.” Merlin gave a small smile of reassurance when Arthur caught that it happened in the past. “I’m still here.”

Arthur tightened his arms, pushing Merlin’s waist closer to his. Merlin blushed as he felt Arthur’s heart beating from behind him. “It doesn’t mean I have to like that you were in danger.”

Merlin took one hand and raised it to his lips-giving a soft kiss. “I know. I don’t like you in danger too.”

Arthur’s lips stretched into a fond smile. “Go on, love.”

A pause and flaming cheeks. The warlock was not used to this. “So, Gaius then proceeds to turn the man and is saying that most of the time there’s nothing to be scared of. Only to see the man’s face was half-white half-blue with blue veins visible. And his eyes…” Merlin shivered. “Completely white-blue.”

Arthur frowned. “I think I remember when this sickness spread into Camelot.” Then the King’s memory supplied more details; and he winced. “The one where Gwen was almost executed?”

Merlin looked down guiltily. “Yes. This one.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes, trying to understand the raven-haired’s guilty look. Then it clicked. “Someone healed her father and she was accused. You confessed it was you but no one believed you.” Arthur’s heart stuttered in sadness. “You… This day you told everyone you were a sorcerer.”

Merlin could hear Arthur’s realization that Merlin had told his secret all these years ago. He could feel Arthur tense at the knowledge he could have known for so long-and help Merlin. “Arthur. It’s fine. It probably wasn’t the time.”

Arthur nodded-though he still felt sad. Merlin smiled softly before launching into the rest of the story. “Gaius knew then we had to keep people from seeing, or else they would panic. I covered the man with a nearby cover.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow. “You stole a cover?”

Merlin smacked his arm. “I _borrowed_ the cover. I’m pretty sure Gaius gave it back to its owner. Anyway, we crossed path with Gwen as we were taking the body back to Gaius’ workroom. Gwen asked us what we were doing; and I was like “Err moving something’!”

Arthur laughed. “You are not a good liar, right?”

Merlin blushed and looked away. “I’m better at hiding.”

Arthur frowned and growled slightly as he noticed the edge of self-loathing in Merlin’s voice. “Merlin… People need to hide something often. Stop blaming what you _needed_ to do!” Before Merlin could protest, Arthur turned him in his laps.

Merlin blinked as he found himself face to face with his King. He blushed at heated look in the blue eyes staring into his. “I know… I just…”

Arthur sighed. He brushed his fingers to Merlin’s cheek with tenderness. He leaned down and kissed Merlin softly. “Merlin… Please. No more suffering.”

The warlock’s eyes brightened. “Alright. Alright.”

Arthur pushed Merlin closer, navigating his body until Merlin’s head was tucked under his chin and his body lay sideway on his laps. He huffed out a laugh as he felt Merlin snuggling his chest.

Merlin couldn’t help it. He pressed his ear to Arthur’s heart, sighing as the soft heartbeat soothed his mind. “I tried then to make Gwen think of something else. So I asked if someone gave her the purple flowers she had in her hands. Said no, gave me one.”

Arthur smiled fondly and chuckled. “It sounds as if Gwen had a crush on you?”

Merlin blushed. “I didn’t realize it until she kissed me, but apparently yes. Though after this accident it seems like she understood I saw her as a sister. And well, you two fell in love.”

Arthur’s eyebrows rose. “She kissed you? When?”

“Will be in the next story.” Merlin chuckled at his love’s grumble before continuing. “Gaius examined the man and concluded right away it was magical. Then you were just outside our door and calling for me. Had to stop you from entering.” Merlin chuckled. “Looked in a bad mood.”

Arthur grinned. “I was getting used to how bad of a manservant you were.” He teased. Then a shadow of doubt flickered on his face.

Merlin kissed his mouth as he opened it to talk. The blond stared at him. “Don’t worry; I know you never meant it in a bad way. Anyway, you soon change to perplexed. I guessed you didn’t expect me to have a purple flower in my neckerchief.” Arthur snorted. “Then you proceed to tell Gaius your father wanted to see him. Couldn’t understand why you didn’t do it yourself.” It was Merlin turn to snort. “Gaius told me it was because I was a servant.”

Arthur looked away in embarrassment. “I guess I really was a prat.”

Merlin chuckled fondly. “You still are sometimes. Though, not as badly.” He teased. “So, I started saying that if you know who I was, and he finished by ‘you would be a dead servant’.”

Arthur shook his head. “No, never. I couldn’t…”

“I know, Arthur. But at this time… Both of us can’t know what would have happened.” Merlin chuckled. “Gaius lightened the mood a bit. When he told me to cover the body and I teased him by saying I’m not his servant; he retorted I was his dogsboddy.”

Arthur barked out a laugh. “Seems like Gaius has some mouth too. Maybe you learned after him?” He teased.

Merlin pouted. His magic flared, and Arthur yelped as he was pushed down again. Only, he took Merlin with him on the furs. Merlin blushed-he hadn’t thought of that! Arthur grinned and kept his arms around Merlin; glad to feel him resting on his chest. “Keep on. This is nice.”

Merlin’s face would have shamed a tomato. Yet, he also felt good like this, and simply snuggled comfortably before keeping his story going.

“So, your father called because someone else died from the plague.”

“Yeah, I remember being here.” Arthur paused. “And Gaius didn’t tell him it was magic right away.”

Merlin shook his head. “I guess he didn’t want your father to react badly. Though your father seemed to guess Gaius hid something. Gaius had to tell him.”

Arthur’s eyes softened in sadness and he let out a sigh. “Gaius seemed so hesitant…” It pained him to know his father had inspired such fear. He hated the fact his father hadn’t open his eyes while still alive.

Merlin stroked his chest in circle, reassuring. Once Arthur glanced down with a small smile, Merlin kept talking. “Your father ordered then the search. He really seemed scared.” The warlock paused as Arthur sighed softly.

The king could remember his father’s words; and even then he had felt like his father had been overreacting. The plague had been bad yes; but Arthur didn’t like how his father would lose reason as soon as magic was involved. “My father was afraid that people would turn to magic to cure the plague more than anything else.” He finally voiced. Arthur had obeyed at the time, but he had still wondered. Why be afraid that people would heal others with magic? At the time, he had thought that maybe his father was afraid these people would then turned corrupted. But now…

Arthur knew there was nothing wrong with that. Magical healers could even save lives. He glanced at Merlin. Arthur felt sure Merlin had healed him at least once. He smiled softly, gesturing for Merlin to continue.

“While you were searching the lower town, I saw a man still alive but affected. I… I wanted so much to heal him. But Gaius warned me against it. Told me it wouldn’t be safe; with everyone suspecting everyone. He dragged me away. Then he analyzed… something; to try finding how it spread. However, Gaius knew already it was magic of the darkest kind. I didn’t understand why someone would use magic like that.”

Arthur smiled softly. “Of course you wouldn’t. You want to use your magic for good. _You are good_. No matter what you had to do or what you think.” He added the last part with emphasis as he saw the look crossing Merlin’s face.

Merlin nodded with a shy smile to Arthur. His king’s word really soothed his mind-and his soul. “Gaius told me magic corrupted and people used it to wrong hand. I told him that not all magic was bad; and he agreed it was not magic but how you used it.” Merlin sighed. “I guess it’s the same with any kind of power. Political, strength, magic. If you have it, you have to be careful of how you use it.”

“And this is why you use it for good. You know it would be easy to do as you want; but you also know not to.” Arthur didn’t say; unlike his father. His father might have done well into his reign too, but it couldn’t erase the bad.

“Thank you.” Merlin whispered. “Then you barged in with the guard for the search.”

Arthur smirked. “Is this the moment you told me? Where I almost found your magic book?”

“Yes! Gaius and I tried to stay as calm as possible. Well, Gaius was better at that. Though we both froze when you called for me and told me to look at what you found after you went into my room-just after Gaius asked what I did with my magic book! Imagine my relief when I realized you were talking of the cupboard!”

Arthur half-groaned and half-snorted. “I am as bad as the guards that abandoned their post for a rolling dice!”

Merlin chuckled. “This is quite true!” Arthur smacked his back lightly. “What? You did pass right by evidences quite often!” He stuck out his tongue. As a punishment, Arthur slapped his butt slightly. He enjoyed the little squeak and the red on Merlin’s face. “Go on, keep talking.” He gestured with his hand, overly magnanimous.

Merlin murmured, “Prat!” before really continuing. “I saw my magic book on the ground; and while you were distracted, I used my magic to make a shirt fall on it. It is after that moment that I decided to put it under the loose floorboard.”

Arthur sighed. “I’m quite glad I did _not_ find it. That would have been bad.”

Merlin blushed. “I know. Believe me, I felt enough scared at that time! Well, I have to admit, Gaius wanted it hidden while I wanted to use it. I wanted to save people.” Arthur smile fondly. Of course Merlin would. “If it wasn’t for tricks, like Gaius said; then I wanted to find a good use. But Gaius called me mad to want to try that with the King hunting for sorcerers.”

“Gaius was right.” Arthur shivered at the idea of Merlin arrested. “Though… It would have been better if you could have healed people freely. Lives would have been saved.” He smiled down as Merlin rubbed his arm. Arthur rubbed Merlin’s arm back. “But now you can. I will change the law as soon as I know everything.” He added.

Merlin nodded with a bright grin. “Gaius told me I had this great destiny; and so I should protect my life.”

“Good point.”

Merlin gave a half-hearted glare. “I replied that how was I supposed to be this great warlock if I didn’t practice.”

“Also a good point.” Arthur conceded.

“Gaius retorted that a time will come when my skills would be recognized. I couldn’t help but ask when. At that time, I wanted to show who I really was so much. It is with time that I learned to be patient.”

Arthur smiled softly-and a bit sadly. “The moment has come, Merlin.”

Merlin couldn’t help the shy smile. He might have grown into his powers; he might have learned things during all these years; but with Arthur today-with the knowledge Arthur had now-Merlin felt himself drop his barriers and show his vulnerable heart. Shy, still unsure; and most of all: hoping for better time. He understood now why Arthur said Merlin was still kind and innocent. He could feel it now.

And Merlin knew it was all thanks to Arthur. Arthur healed the wounds of his burden, of his past. Like Merlin had carried Arthur during all these years, like Merlin had helped Arthur when his own burden were too much; Arthur did it now.

The warlock’s heart sang with joy at being able to share this with his love. His soul rejoiced that both of them could open their heart fully and bath into the warmth and the relief the other gave.

“I know… Still, at the time I felt like sitting by and doing nothing was wrong. I knew I could cure the man we saw. Gaius tried to placate me. Told me he knew it was tempting to use the way I find easiest. I felt like it was easy-not just looking like easy-because I could save a life. Gaius told me it was no good saving one person; that we needed to discover how it spread. I pointed out you were out there looking for the sorcerer but he affirmed a sorcerer this powerful wouldn’t be found searching the town. I felt angry but I wanted to trust Gaius. Mom sent me to him to help him; and so I knew I had to listen to him. I asked what could we do; and he just said hoping that science could find the answer.”

Arthur saw Merlin scratching his cheek in slight embarrassment. He chuckled and took a guess. “However, there are times when you still didn’t listen to Gaius?”

Merlin flushed. “Yeah.” He coughed. “So, after that, we saw the corpses rising.” He continued sadly.

“And we hadn’t found anyone.” Arthur supplied-equally sad. So much of his people had died because his warlock couldn’t help them as he wished. “Father ordered the curfew; and asked to cut off the lower town.” The King frowned; as displeased as he had been back then to do that to their citizen.

Merlin kissed his jaws, a small soothing gesture before talking again. “Gaius made me analyze one victim, asking what was different.” The young man scratched his neck in his usual embarrassed manner. “First thing I said was that they were a woman.”

Arthur chuckled. “I guess that was _not_ what Gaius wanted to hear!”

“Nope. Told me he sometimes wondered whether your magical talents were given to the right person!”

Arthur laughed hysterically. “I was right; your cheeky attitude comes from Gaius!”

“Hey! I was cheeky before coming to Camelot! He just helped along.” He retorted cheekily. Arthur laughed a bit more before gesturing for the rest of the story. “Then I noticed she was a courtier. Gaius told me courtier rarely went into the lower town. I said it meant she hasn’t spoken to townspeople. Gaius made a face but he agreed it meant the disease wasn’t spread by contact. Then I said they ate different food, that they didn’t breathe the same air. Gaius came to the question then: what did they share?”

Arthur blinked before realizing. “Water?”

Merlin nodded. “Gaius sent me to take some water.” A sad look crossed his face. “I was doing just that when I saw Gwen in tears; rushing toward Gaius’ workroom.”

Arthur’s eyes saddened. “Her father.”

Merlin nodded. “At that time he was all she had. It is much later that we met Elyan after all. But Gaius said he still had no cure. She left after that. Gaius was hoping the water would help him; but I knew-and Gaius too-that it would be too late for her father.”

Arthur bit his lips in sadness. “Is it when you decided to save him?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t just do nothing. I left Gaius to his examination to go into my room. I waited the night-and for Gaius to be asleep-before finding a spell to cure her father. I went to her house to plant the poultice.” Arthur knew it was the same poultice he found later-and he soothed Merlin’s guilty look with a kiss into his hair. “While going there I had to hide from guards. One was coming toward me; so I used a spell to open a door. It creaked and the guard went to see. When he was close enough, I close it and it knocked him out.”

Arthur chuckled. “Oh you… I bet your magic is as sneaky and tricky as you are.” Merlin smirked at Arthur. The King gulped then. “Not that you need to show me, you know?”

Merlin smirked some more, enough to make Arthur sweat, before he felt merciful and just kept talking. “With the guard down, I managed to go into Gwen’s house. I went to put the poultice under the pillow-and froze when a board cracked. But thankfully Gwen and her father stayed asleep. When the poultice was safely under the pillow, I cast the spell. It was quite nice to watch, you know? It was the first time I saw a healing spell.”

Arthur raised a curious eyebrow. “Describe, please?”

“A soft golden-white mist enveloped Gwen’s father, and his skin went back to normal. I went outside and watched a bit. He woke up and then called stroke Gwen’s hair. Gwen was so happy when she opened her eyes and saw him well!”

Arthur smiled fondly. This was Merlin in his purest form; this was magic as it should be. Goodness and happiness. He pushed Merlin closer, brushing his lips to his cheek. “Good work, my warlock.” Arthur smiled softly as Merlin flushed. He would never grow bored of this sight.

The king continued the tale a bit then. “I guess this is the morning after you healed Gwen’s father; Gaius showed us the flower. No more than a few hours in the water and it was dead. Gaius told us it came from the water supply the people used. We couldn’t stop using it, as Gaius said. We couldn’t survive without water. My father immediately said we had to find the sorcerer. I told him I didn’t believe they were inside Camelot.”

Merlin nodded grimly. Then he smirked. “So you do have a brain!”

Arthur whacked him upside the head before talking again. “I told him I couldn’t search the entire kingdom when he said to extend the search. He said he couldn’t stand by and watch our people die.” Arthur smiled faintly. “On this point we agreed.”

Merlin nodded. “Your father cared for the kingdom and his people. And for you too. I guess he just didn’t know how to show it.”

Arthur sighed. “Yes. And he became blind when magic was involved.” He frowned. “And there were these stupid rules about servants, about how to treat the people.”

Merlin smiled up. “You have changed that when you became king. And you will change the remaining unfair laws.” He spoke with confidence in Arthur’s fairness-but also hope.

A smile stretched the blond’s lips before he looked down with tenderness. “What would I do without you?”

Merlin blushed. “I don’t pretend everything is thanks to me. You have done much good all alone.”

Arthur shook his head. “I knew I had someone that cared for me. I knew someone supported me.”

Merlin blinked in astonishment. Arthur used the opportunity to bend down and capture Merlin’s lips. Merlin closed his eyes with a sigh. How blissful it was! He felt Arthur moving his lips against his own; and he swore his magic exploded inside him in pure bliss. A small gasp from Arthur alerted him that his magic did react to the kiss.

It was flowing between them, happy. And it made both of them all the more aware of the other-and sensitive. Arthur decided to test this. He nipped at Merlin’s lips; and was rewarded with a shudder of delight from his love. Merlin’s tongue darted against his lips; and Arthur shivered in pleasure.

Conscious that Arthur wanted Merlin to continue speaking, the king gathered his self-control and parted. Merlin whined, but understood. He wanted to share all of their past with Arthur during this night. The story was long, but Merlin knew he would finish it somewhere into the night.

Merlin realized something then, and grinned. He planted a last kiss and whispered. “Happy birthday again. Midnight hasn’t passed yet.”

Arthur chuckled-though his eyes were glazed with bliss. “You gave me the best present ever. Or should I say, _presents_.”

“Anything to please you, my King.” At Arthur’s suggestive look, he blushed but added, “Not yet, clotpole.”

Arthur took noticed of the implication; and he grinned but wisely shut his mouth. He needed to let Merlin finish his stories.

“I found Gwen in Morgana’s chambers in the morning. Couldn’t help myself and asked how her father was, if he felt better.” Arthur chuckled but stayed silent otherwise. “I know, even she noticed. She told me I didn’t seem surprised. She asked me how I knew he was well. I replied because she was smiling. But she still wondered! She hadn’t told anyone, but I knew. I had to find a distraction. I said, yep, all right. Then proceed to say I could read mind.”

Arthur laughed. “Good one Merlin! Did she fell into your distraction?”

“I think I can say yes. She laughed and denied it. I confirmed and she asked me what she was thinking. I said that she thought I wasn’t a psychic. She laughed some more and called me strange.”

“So true!” Arthur snorted. Merlin smacked his arm.

“Though she started babbling, saying she didn’t mean it in a bad way. Just that I was funny”

Arthur chuckled. This was pure Gwen. “You are funny.” He admitted.

Merlin smirked with pleasure. “I do my best!” Then he chuckled. “She finished by ‘I like that’. But I really didn’t understand it like she really meant.”

Arthur laughed at Merlin’s embarrassed look. “Poor, poor innocent Merlin!”

“Oh shut it you! You are as innocent as I am!” Then Merlin bit his lips and frowned. “I mean… You know…”

Arthur blushed but hid it with a smirk. “I would have recognized the sign of a crush. Though if you mean it _this way_ , yes I am. I felt it wasn’t proper to do more than kissing until marriage.”

Merlin bit his lips and cocked his head up. “What does it mean for us?”

Arthur fixed Merlin with a soft-but heated-gaze. “It means we won’t rush into anything. But I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want me to wait until marriage.”

“Of course I don’t want to wait this much!” Then something clicked. “Marriage?”

Arthur suddenly glanced away. “… I’m sure I can marry who I want; it's just a matter of getting the council to agree."

Merlin blinked several time. “Are you _proposing_?”

“… Maybe.” Arthur glanced back at Merlin, suddenly shy. “… If I am?”

Merlin’s eyes softened. He smiled fondly-and Arthur caught his breath. “The answer is yes, dollophead. I-I didn’t think it was possible; but I did… think of it.”

Arthur suddenly grinned blindingly; and swooped down to kiss Merlin lightly on the lips over and over. “You little idiot. I had started planning for dinner and candles. But you had to throw my plans out the window, did you?” He growled with affection.

Merlin chuckled. “Not like you seem to mind, cabbage-head!”

Arthur laughed. It seemed like their banter would not vanish. Hell, it felt like it was a part of them; of their relationship. Arthur didn’t mind; and Merlin didn’t seem to mind too.

Merlin smiled sunnily at Arthur before managing to open his mouth again. “She was suddenly all shy. I understand why now. Then she thanked me. I didn’t understand why. She just said she didn’t know; for asking.”

Arthur shrugged. “She might have sensed you helped her.”

“Maybe. Who knows? I told her I didn’t like to see her upset; then I said I have to go.”

Arthur sighed. Merlin stopped and looked at him, curious. “She was so happy. And then Father and I ruined this. I heard that Tom was working again. Told him that I heard he had been sick; and he just answered not anymore. I wondered if he had been suffering from something else; but he denied. He said it felt like death itself. I asked what happened, and he replied that suddenly it was gone and he felt fitter than before.” Arthur grinned. “Good job you did Merlin.” Then he noticed Merlin’s wide eyed look. “What?”

“Fitter? Oh my, I think my magic went a bit crazy. I told you, it’s hard to put the right amount. Even with spells.”

Arthur barked a laugh. “So you wanted to only heal him; but in the end you made him even better than before?”

“You summed it up well.”

Arthur shook his head fondly. “Only you, Merlin. Anyway, once he told me that, and that only Gwen was with him; I… I suspected something was up. I wished I didn’t. Though, it would have reached my father’s ears. Maybe… If only I had found the poultice myself, maybe I could have hid it…” The question was; would his past self do that? Arthur didn’t know.

Merlin rubbed his arm gently. “Arthur… it’s the past now. Gwen was saved. It’s okay.”

Arthur relaxed his jaw-he hadn’t realized he was clenching it. “I know. It can’t stop me from realizing what I did wrong.”

Merlin frowned. “What did you told me? You would forgive me so I can forgive myself?”

Arthur finally relaxed after a sigh. He smiled down at Merlin. “Thank you. As you might have guessed; I and some guards went to search her home. As I said, one of them found the poultice.”

Merlin winced. “I should have removed it.” He muttered.

“It’s in the past now.” Arthur mimicked-though gently. “You know, it was glowing a bit. I can guess how the mist looked like.” He remarked with wonder. Then he sobered. “It was the ‘proof’ that leads us to arrest Gwen.”

Merlin shivered. “I remember.”

“Morgana defended her. She looked horrified to see her being taken. And I couldn’t turn a blind eye.” Arthur knew he would feel the same if it had been Merlin. And after he had fallen for Gwen, he had thought back if this day. Even today, he still couldn’t believe how cold-hearted he had looked. How he had acted.

Arthur snapped out of his self-loathing by a gentle kiss. He blinked down at Merlin. The raven-haired smiled at him before taking the lead. “I heard her pleas and I instinctively went to help. Gaius had to stop me and take me away. Once we were safely in our rooms, he asked me what I had done. He said I thought I was doing good. I answered that I couldn’t let her father die when I could cure him. He pointed out it would be suspicious, curing one man. I said that all I had to do was cure everyone. But Gaius told me it was too late. They thought Gwen caused the disease.”

Arthur shook his head, sad. How many time Merlin only wanted to help? How many innocents had been sentenced? Arthur could see a bit what Merlin endured. Having to hide and watch people die. Being berated when he tried to help but more problems erupted. Arthur did not like that. He felt glad he could change it.

“I exclaimed that she didn’t; and Gaius simply said how can I prove that? I left then. I wanted to be here as they lead her to your father.”

Arthur winced. He remembered the interrogation. It had been horrible to watch. Morgana had been the only one really standing up to his father. All he did was look away; and try once to reason with him.

Merlin smiled faintly at Arthur. It had been hard for both of them. She was a great friend to both of them; and being reminded of this day…

“I tried to talk to him. I could see the difference between the evil of the plague and the love of healing.” Arthur felt obliged to say.

“I know you would, Arthur.” Merlin whispered soothingly. “It’s fine now. Gwen is alive. She forgave you. I just hope she will forgive me too.”

“Merlin… you saved her father. I don’t think she could hate you for this, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, alright.” He noticed Arthur still had something on his mind. “Arthur?”

“My father told me I would understand making such decision once I would be king. I’m glad I never really did. I thought then that punishment should fit crime; and I still do. No matter what was used to commit it.”

Merlin smiled and kissed his neck. “I talked with Gaius after. I told him I thought I was doing good, that I was saving life and helping her. He warned me that a simple solution was like a light in a storm. Rush for it at your peril. I could see it. I started understanding why he warned me of the responsibility of being a warlock.”

“I thought only Kilgharrah knew this term?”

“I shared the term with Gaius. Though I didn’t tell him I was seeing Kilgharrah.”

“He didn’t question the term?”

“I told him someone I crossed path once called me that.” Merlin shrugged his shoulders. “I think he always suspected that I talked with Kilgharrah. Anyway, I went to see her. I didn’t really know what to do, but I needed to see her.”

Arthur smiled. Merlin was such a loyal friend.

“I saw Morgana leaving, you know? She was crying…” Merlin shook his head. “I miss this Morgana.”

“Me too, Merlin. Me too.”

“Gwen looked so happy to see me. She thanked me for coming. I said sorry-I had to-but she said it wasn’t my fault.” He paused. Arthur stroked his hairs and kissed his temple. “She said not to worry about her. That there was no point crying about that. Then she babbled about not meaning I would cry.” Merlin chuckled fondly, but his glistening eyes betrayed the sadness of recalling this event. “I told her I couldn’t have that happen. All she asked… was to remember her.” A tear did fall from Merlin’s eyes. Arthur wiped it with his thumb. “It was too much. I assured her she would not die; that I wasn’t going to let that happen. This was the moment I decided to reveal myself.”

Arthur sighed. “And I was the one who stopped you without knowing. It was a great entrance though. I couldn’t believe my ears! And now that I think of it; Gaius looked kind of worried. Not that I don’t understand, my father didn’t hesitate in arresting you. I’m glad I stepped in to stop that.”

“You honestly believed I had a crush on Gwen?”

Arthur blushed. “Yes! Only you were blind!”

“Oi!” Merlin smacked his arm. “And you looked so shocked! You couldn’t believe I am a sorcerer. You had it all wrong!” He teased.

Arthur glared. “Technically, you are a warlock!”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean, prat!”

Arthur glared for some seconds, then his eyes softened and he sighed. “Go on.”

“But admit it, you thought on the excuse on the spot.”

“… True.”

Merlin snorted. “It worked though. There was this one moment when he said perhaps she casted a spell on me; but thankfully he was joking. Gaius followed me to berate me. I said you were the idiot, but he told me you did the right thing.”

“Of course I did!” Arthur exclaimed, indignant.

“I know, I know. But at the time it seemed so simple. But as Gaius said, you saved me from my own stupidity.” Merlin half-glared at Arthur at the choked laughter. “I didn’t know what else to do to save Gwen. Gaius told me I didn’t prove her innocence by jumping into the flames; but by finding the cause of the disease. I told him I don’t think you would find it; you know, because you didn’t spot that I was a sorcerer. Gaius said it is hard to spot.” Merlin chuckled. “I said I should go around wearing a pointy hat, and Gaius said I would not find one big enough.”

Arthur laughed. “I would have liked to be there!”

“We went to see the water supply, to try and find what contaminated it. Just after I took a sample, the Afanc emerged and roared at us! It scared us very much!” Merlin shuddered. “I felt the dark magic coming from it. My magic didn’t like it _at all_. We searched in books what it was; and that was then we found it was named an Afanc. Now, we had to find a way to defeat it. But Gaius had so many books; and he didn’t know where to start looking. He asked me if I had a better idea; and I did.”

Arthur frowned in confusion. Merlin chuckled. “Kilgharrah, Arthur.”

“Oh. I guess I should expect to hear him often?”

“Yeah. He did help me a lot. I went to see Gwen once more before going to Kilgharrah. She was asleep; but still. I told her I was going to get her out of here. Then I went to see the Great Dragon. When I asked to know how to defeat an Afanc-and if he would help me-he replied that I had to trust the elements that were at my command.”

Arthur blinked. “Like… Controlling the elements?”

Merlin nodded. “I didn’t understand right away. But along the years, I noticed I have a good affinity with Fire and Wind. I can control Water and Earth too; but I like to go first toward Fire and Wind when I have a choice.”

Arthur nodded; his eyes showing how much he was interested in gaining the knowledge. Also; it impressed him. Controlling time; now controlling the elements… The King was starting to grasp how powerful Merlin was.

“Anyway, Kilgharrah really loves to talk in riddles. I asked what it was that I had to do; and he just answered I could not do this alone; that I was only one side of a coin.” Merlin smiled-which was returned by Arthur. Together, they were the coin. “Kilgharrah did tell me you were the other side. Though, I still didn’t understand what I had to do. But sneaky dragon flew off!”

Arthur laughed good-naturally. “It does sound like he takes pleasure in acting like that.”

Merlin snorted. “Agreed. He even had the nerves to tell me he had when I asked him to help me; and disappear while laughing!”

Arthur chuckled some more. Then he remembered. “We searched more but I returned to my father with nothing else. He said we couldn’t delay much longer and to execute Gwen the evening. I could only obey…”

Merlin smiled faintly at Arthur, trying to give comfort with his eyes. He could only guess Arthur had his own burden and guilt. He just felt grateful they could share it fully now; and heal from them. They would go forward now-together.

“Meanwhile, I was searching a book about elements. I asked him how they could help me defeat the Afanc. He told me it was made of Water and Earth, two of the four base ones. I asked about the other two; and he realized that perhaps they could destroy it. He told me I needed fire. Wind and Fire. He asked how I knew, and I just told him it was part of my powers.” They both snorted. “Same as being a Warlock. But I guess he had started understanding who I was seeing. Still, he asked me what else they said; and I replied that I was one side of a coin-the brightest side.”

“Oi!”

Merlin stuck out his tongue. “And of course, that you were the other. Morgana arrived then, telling us Gwen would be executed in the evening. We needed to prove her innocence. She asked us how she could help. I told her we needed you. I explained there was an Afanc. She first thought of telling your father; but Gaius said it was forged by magic. Your father would only blame Gwen.”

Arthur sighed sadly but did not voice anything.

“Morgana understood that telling wasn’t an option, so she asked what to do. I replied we needed to destroy it. The plague would stop and it might make your father see sense. Morgana agreed that was why we needed you. You were our best chance.”

Arthur smiled. “I’m glad I let her convince me. In any case, I didn’t like what was happening. As soon as I knew something could be done, I came. I knew she had something when she said that none of the men around were able to stand for what was right.”

Merlin grinned. “So she did convince you from disobeying the king.”

Arthur shrugged. “It wasn’t against any order to go and defeat a creature of magic.”

“So we went into the water supply. I think you remember us looking for the Afanc-and hearing it. And Morgana and you bantering!”

Arthur chuckled. “Yes, I do. The search was quite…”

“Scary?”

Arthur grumbled. “… Yes. All shadows seemed to hide it. It was also very annoying. I could hear it but as soon as I dodged it vanished. It was really quick!”

“I remember. We finally faced it. I told you to use the torch-though you seemed to have noticed it recoiled from or a bit.”

“Yes I did.” Arthur realized then. “That was the Fire part!”

“Yes. I cast a spell to bring wind when you used the torch so it could burn it.”

Arthur smiled. “It had been strange, this sudden gust of wind. But I kind of forgot it after. But Merlin, this was good work.”

Merlin grinned back. “We did a good team work!”

Arthur nodded. “And the plague stopped. Father had no reason to keep Gwen.” He noticed then the wondering look on Merlin’s face. “What?”

“Do you remember… Nimueh?”

Arthur thought for some seconds, frowning. “Ah! Yes. Why?” Then his eyes widened. “Don’t tell me..?”

Merlin nodded. “I pretty sure it was her. I remember that Gaius found something in the water supply. I guess it bore a clear mark it was her; and that was why your father accepted that Gwen had been innocent.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “So even then she had already started attacking Camelot!”

Merlin sighed. “Yes. I guess she waited for a long time before attacking.”

Arthur frowned, confused. “Waited? Why?” Merlin starred at him. It clicked for Arthur. “Oh! She was angry about my father banning magic after Mother died…”

Merlin nodded. “Though she turned bitter. Sometimes I wonder if she really had no control over the price…” He sighed. “We will never know.”

Arthur blinked. “It’s true that we never heard about her again…” He looked at Merlin suspiciously. “Was it you?”

Merlin winced. “It is a story for later. But yes.”

Arthur nodded; knowing he just needed to be patient. Merlin had waited years; so he could wait a bit more.

“So; Gwen was finally free. Her father and she were so happy. She thanked Morgana but Morgana told her I was the one to be thanked.” Merlin blushed. “It felt good; but even then I was not used to being thanked.”

Arthur brushed his lips to his ear and whispered, “That will change.”

Merlin shivered in pleasure. “Morgana almost gave me a heart attack! Told me my secret was safe with her!”

Arthur widened his eyes. “She can’t mean-!”

Merlin chuckled. “No. She said me to not pretend; that she saw what I did. I thought she meant my magic at first. She said she understand why I wouldn’t want anyone to know. She asked if I minded her talking about it. I said no; that she had no idea how hard it was to keep it hidden.”

Arthur waited; as he sensed the twist would come now.

“Then she said I can continue to deny it; but Gwen was very lucky!”

Arthur snorted before dissolving into fits of laughter. “She too thought you were in love with Gwen!”

Merlin blushed. “Apparently. Anyway, at dinner I was a bit… afraid because we were eating fish.”

Arthur kept chuckling.

“Gaius told me it had been the work of a very powerful sorcerer; and he hoped I hadn’t come to her attention.” Merlin frowned. “Wait… I never realized he said her until now!”

Arthur barked out a laugh. “Let’s say you were tired!” He joked. Then events came into his mind; and he paled. “Oh. Your next story wouldn’t happen to be about when you got poisoned?”

Merlin gave Arthur a faint smile. “Yes, it is. Apparently, I did come to her attention… And to think back then I doubt I had! I mean, my skills weren’t appreciated.”

Arthur tightened his grip protectively. “They are now.”

Merlin smiled. “I know, Arthur.” Then he laughed slightly. “Gaius told me one day people would not believe what an idiot I was!”

Arthur shook his head fondly. “Oh, Gaius!” Then he grinned teasingly. “You can still be an idiot!”

“Oi! Stop it if you want the next story!”

Arthur wisely snapped his mouth shut.

_To be continued…_


	5. The Poisoned Chalice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this chapter comes the end of the repost! I'll try rewatching and writing Lancelot as soon as I can, but no promise of how soon I can post it!  
> Make sure you also watch out for the other story I will publish, The Divine Battle! Not part of Destiny Tales, but it IS Merthur ;)

“So, as you guessed, my next story takes place when Bayard of Mercia came to Camelot. I didn’t know at the time, but Nimueh was already with the people accompanying him.”

Arthur frowned. “No one noticed her? She was known, right?”

Merlin smiled, but it held some anger. “She must have disguised herself. Made it as if no one truly noticed who she was. I remember feeling attracted to her; but I realize now it was my magic feeling hers-and her disguise.”

Arthur sighed. “Of course. Camelot was truly undefended against magic, right?”

Merlin smiled faintly. “It is a miracle you and Camelot were still standing when I arrived.” He frowned. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it was destiny. Maybe Magic made sure the threats wouldn’t come until I was here?”

Arthur shifted slightly, wrapping his arms tighter around Merlin as he felt the furs they were laying on move a bit with his shift. “Probably.” He smirked. “My guardian.” He whispered hotly into Merlin’s ear.

Merlin flushed. “You are making it hard for me to continue my tale.”

“Sorry. Go on.” Arthur’s tone wasn’t really sorry-though he did want to hear the rest.

“I met Nimueh-or Cara as she called herself then-quite soon. She was disguised as a servant, and tripped in front of me. I guess it was all a play. Of course, I helped her with the sheets she dropped.” Merlin frowned. “I think that’s when my magic first started sensing hers. She was a High Priestess, and while she used her magic for evil; it was disguised-hidden. That’s why instead of feeling repulsed, I felt… attracted.”

Arthur, contrary to when he heard Merlin talking about a past love, felt jealous. “Trying to take you away from me?” he muttered, unpleased.

Merlin chuckled. “Oh Arthur, I don’t think anyone can manage that!” At the surprised but soft look he received, he realized what he had blurted out and blushed. “So! We introduced ourselves, and Gaius was looking like ‘Well, well’!” Both laughed. “She already knew I was your servant; told me it must be such an honour. I agreed-someone had the keep the place running!”

Arthur growled. “You!” Swiftly, Arthur turned them both. Merlin blinked as he found himself on his back, Arthur hovering above him. He only had the time to register and blush before Arthur kissed him hardly. A soft moan escaped his throat as Arthur’s tongue-vengeful yet gentle-mapped his mouth. His magic tingled into his body, and he closed his eyes, accepting the ‘punishment’ kiss.

Finally, they parted-breathless. “That’ll teach you not to say this in my back!” Arthur teased-eyes darkened with repressed lust.

Merlin wanted to frown, but his flush and his small grin betrayed him. “Careful, I might badmouth you more if this is my punishment!”

Arthur let out a surprised laugh. “You tease! Maybe I should do the opposite then? No kissing and no _touching_?” his eyes twinkled in mischief.

Merlin pouted. “This would be cruel, my King!”

Arthur shook his head, amused. He bent down and kissed Merlin’s nose tenderly. “Don’t let other seduce you, then. Especially to the point you badmouth me.”

Merlin smiled. “No chance of that. You’re the only one.” He admitted with a kiss to the blond’s cheek.

Arthur smiled then laid on his side. He used his right hand to rest his head, and looked down at Merlin. “Go on.”

“She left, saying it was nice meeting me. The day went smoothly then. Until my nose met with the ceremonial clothes! Honestly, one year without cleaning?”

Arthur chuckled. “It was funny, how you reacted. Even more when I announced you would be there. So happy… until I showed you your clothes!”

Merlin glared. “I still can’t believe it! Admit it, it _was_ a joke!”

Arthur’s eyes shone with mischief. “Of course. You doubted it?”

“Prat. Gwen was very amused by the hat… As you were!” Merlin turned thoughtful. “I guess Gwen was jealous…”

Arthur raised an eyebrow. “Guess?”

“She half-asked me about ‘Cara’, saying she was pretty for a handmaiden. I… kind of answered she was pretty for a princess, let alone a handmaiden.”

“She isn’t the one jealous.” Arthur grumbled.

Merlin rolled his eyes. “I told you, it was my Magic. I was young and easily impressed, and my Magic still an unknown for me.” He smirked. “And compared to my King, no one is pretty or handsome.”

Arthur felt the blush forming. “On, shut up!”

Merlin was the one to have eyes full of mischief now. “As you wish, my Lord.” Then he turned serious again. “Nimueh was a good actress. As soon as Bayard took out the cups, she took her mask of panic. She came straight to me, seemingly worried. I guess our first encounter was to ensure a sort of trust.”

The arm that wasn’t used to rest Arthur’s head came around Merlin’s wait-possessive. The King didn’t like how Nimueh had used Merlin-even less knowing what would happen.

Merlin brushed his fingers on the strong arm until it touched the red bracelet he gifted Arthur earlier-proudly wrapped around his left wrist. “She told me about catching Bayard unexpected. She really played well the scared servant. She told he was no friend of Camelot, that he thought that if you were killed, your father’s spirit would be broken. I asked what he did with your goblet, and she told me she saw him put something in it. Kept playing scared, as if she would be killed if she told me. I guessed it was poison. I could have never guessed she had planned all along for me to drink it.”

Arthur frowned and strengthened his hold. He really didn’t like hearing about this again. It was even more painful, thinking of loosing Merlin now. He felt glad to feel him close to him-alive and well.

“I didn’t hesitate. I came running back; and as you know I stopped you from drinking it.”

“I couldn’t believe it. Part of me felt… afraid about what if you were right, and the other part didn’t like what could happen if you were wrong.” He sighed. “But I realize now, you are almost always right.”

Merlin blushed and looked down. “Not always. I am not perfect.”

Arthur bent down and kissed him softly. “And I love you this way.”

Merlin smiled. “I love you too.”

“I can also admit, my father was kind of…”

“Scary?”

“Yeah. That’s why I wanted to find an excuse. I was afraid of what he could do, especially as it was an important feast.”

Merlin shivered. “I could guess. At least your father took the time to verify my words.” He smiled faintly. “He cared about you.”

Arthur gave a small smile. “Even if he had trouble showing it.”

Merlin chuckled. “True. So, as you remember, in the end he made me drink it. It’s almost scary, how Nimueh even guessed your father would make me drink it in the end.”

Arthur shuddered. “I really didn’t like when it came to that. I knew that if you were telling the truth… I know we weren’t as close as we are now, but even then… I wouldn’t have wanted to lose you.”

Merlin smiled faintly. “And I you. That’s why I couldn’t let you drink it. I could see how you didn’t want me to. How you were afraid-even if you would have never admit it. For you… I had to.”

Arthur felt his heart stutter. He pushed Merlin closer, enjoying the feel of his body and warmth so close to him.

“To think that for some seconds, we thought it was alright.”

“I know, Arthur. It surprised me when… when I started choking.” Merlin shivered. “It wasn’t pleasant.” Unbidden, he remembered his own poisoning of Morgana. He felt tears into his eyes.

Arthur frowned. He could see the sadness and guilt, and knew he wasn’t only thinking of the current tale. “I guess I will have to be the one to tell you what happened.”

Merlin nodded. “I didn’t remember anything once I fainted. Gaius told me things that I can supply; and… I do remember some things now. But I’ll tell you at the right time.”

“It was horrible, you know? When I heard you choking… When I turned and I realized suddenly that you were right. There was poison, and it was acting up. I-I never felt more horrified in my life. That was the moment I truly realized how much I cared about you-even if at that time I still saw you as a friend-I guess.” He frowned. “I can’t tell if I’ve always loved you but never realized it, or if at some point my feelings changed.”

“Same. I just know one day I realized I felt love for you.”

Arthur nodded with a small smile. However, the current story stopped him from truly showing happiness. “When you fell, I was the first one to react. I was already by your side even before my father declared there had been poison. I forgot everything else-only your closed eyes mattered. I prayed that something could still be done.”

Sensing how Arthur was spiraling inside the memory, Merlin reached up and kissed his jaw. “You did save me, in the end. I’m here.”

Arthur truly smiled this time. “I’m glad.” He kissed Merlin’s corner of his mouth before talking again-as Merlin laid back down. “Gaius and Gwen were here then. He called to you, but you weren’t much responsive. He told us we needed to get you to his chambers, and that he needed the goblet to know the poison. I didn’t hesitate in carrying you.”

“Your father didn’t… I don’t know, find it inappropriate?”

“I guess he was more focused on how Bayard had tried to kill me. Anyway, we rushed to Gaius’ chambers, Gwen in toes with the goblet. You were struggling to breath.” He shivered at the memory, at feeling his ragged breathes. “I asked him if you would be alright. He told us you were burning up. Gwen practically stated Gaius could cure you. I guess she didn’t want to really make it as a question. I think we were all unwilling to think it was too late.”

Merlin smiled. “I’m glad to have you all.”

“Gaius stayed honest too-and a physician. He admitted he couldn’t know until he knew the poison. He asked for the goblet right away. The seconds it took for Gwen to take it and pass it felt like forever. I could only watch, helpless…”

Merlin shuffled closer, willing to reassure Arthur.

“When Gaius said something was stuck inside, I practically jumped up. He took out a sort of petal, while Gwen warned us you were on fire. Gaius looked right away for what it was. He found it was the morteaus flower. He read that someone poisoned by it could only be saved by a potion made from the leaf of the same flower. It could only be found in the caves of the Balor forest. But the book also warned about the cockatrice-guarding the forest. Few had come back from here.” Arthur grinned. “It didn’t stop me for wanting to go. Especially when I asked Gaius what would happen to you and he answered the morteaus induced a slow and painful death. I really couldn’t allow that. Though… My father wasn’t agreeing. Told me what the point to have tasters if I was going to get killed.” Arthur snorted. “I felt angry. For starter, you weren’t a taster; and I couldn’t understand how he was so… detached. I had no intention to fail, but I was ‘his only son and heir’. He couldn’t lose me for the ‘sake of a serving boy’.”

Merlin could feel in how Arthur quoted his father that this had been quite a sore spot for Arthur. He felt glad to know Arthur had been defending his life so much, but also sad to know it meant Arthur had fight against his father-and that he held anger and resentment for this particular day.

“I asked if your life was worthless. Even then, while I know I was not the man I am now, I still thought everyone had a right of fairness. No one was worthless.” It wasn’t everyday that Arthur admitted the young and not so perfect Prince he had been, but with Merlin he knew he could. “He told me your life was worth less than mine. I tried to be less aggressive. I tried to tell him to let me save you, to lend me men. He started saying no, but I continued, saying we would find the antidote and bring it back. But he still refused. Said one day he would be dead and Camelot would need a King. He said he couldn’t jeopardize me for some fool’s errands. I tried to say you weren’t a fool and that Gaius said that we needed it-that with men it would be less dangerous. But he wouldn’t even listen to that.” He scoffed. “He seemed to be even less inclined to listen. I once again tried a gentler tone. As I told him, you saved my life. I couldn’t stand by and watch you die.” Arthur frowned, true anger in his eyes. “The nerves, he told me to not look then. That you wouldn’t be the last to die for me. I told him I couldn’t accept that. He firmly told me I was not going; but I retorted he couldn’t stop me.”

Merlin allowed a small smile at how rebellious Arthur had been. He had fight for the right to save someone who was dying for his sake. And even more touching, he had fight tooth and nail for _Merlin_. Though, he held certain anger at knowing how much Uther hadn’t cared for him. He hadn’t expected him to, but to know someone had been willing to let you die… It hurt. His magic flared in anger, but Merlin calmed it-listening to Arthur.

“It ended with my father cursing and ordering that I do not leave the castle this night. I left to my room in anger. Morgana didn’t take long to come.” Arthur sighed. “She was really helpful, back then.”

Merlin’s whole face turned sad. “Sometimes, I try to remember her, the _real_ Morgana. I try not to think of what she has become.”

Arthur nodded, a pang of sadness for the sister he lost before even knowing it. “We… bantered a bit, until she told me to spare the lecture because ‘Uther’ already did it. I said I had one to. That was when she said ‘not that I listen anyway’. She told me that sometimes you must do what you think is right. Damn the consequences.”

Merlin turned thoughtful. “Sometimes… I wonder if she still believes that. That she is doing what is right.”

Arthur sighed. “For her, she is doing the right thing, I guess. Her words touched me deeply. I knew she thought I should go. She told me it didn’t matter what she thought; but I guess it was her way to push me. I… gave back the words of my father. Who would be King if I didn’t come back? There wasn’t only my life at stake.” He said the last two sentences in disgust. “I still can’t believe I let myself think that.”

“Not your fault, Arthur. You always sought your father approval. For you, he was in the right. Granted, there were subjects you thought differently. But in the end, you were but a child wanting to feel the pride of his father.”

Arthur looked down at Merlin, startled by how his deep thoughts had been voice by the warlock. “You… keep surprising me.”

Merlin grinned, though it turned gentle as he spoke next. “I’ve always watched over you. I’ve learned to know you.”

It made Arthur feel warm. He rubbed gently Merlin’s side, lifting his shirt and tracing his waist. “Thank you.”

Merlin’s eyes shone with happiness. With his King, remembering and sharing everything, he felt like all the weight he had left him. He felt like he could allow himself to be happy-with Arthur at his side.

“Morgana retorted with a question. What kind of king would Camelot want? One that would risk his life for that of a lowly servant? Or one who does what his father tells him to do?”

Merlin chuckled sadly. “Together, we gave you quite good advices.”

Arthur gave Merlin a soft look. “True. But only you made me feel as if I could really be like you told me. You watched me as if I was the greatest man, and I wanted to really be it for you. For as long as I can remember, every moment you showed faith in me made me continue.”

It was the greatest thing Merlin could hear. In joy, he sat up and stole a bruising kiss. Arthur couldn’t react before Merlin was on his back again, while his own lips tingled. “You tease.”

“Go on with your story, my King.” The raven haired only replied.

“As you can guess, I decided to go find the cure.”

Merlin nodded. “Oh, Gaius told me I started mumbling in the language of the spells. Not spells per say, but Gaius wondered what I was saying. He thinks it was my magic. Like… I can now remember a bit. It felt like some sort of… wall had stumbled a bit, and my magic was flowing so freely. I felt like I… knew things? It’s very blurry now. All I can recall is _knowing_.”

Arthur nodded, mulling this. He felt curious, but apparently, Merlin was as clueless as him. “Wait. Wasn’t Gwen here?”

“Apparently, Gaius told her I was just mumbling nonsense because of the fever.”

Arthur snorted. “Sounds plausible. As long as one does _not_ know the language.”

Merlin barked out a laugh. “Quite true!” Then he sobered. “Gaius also noticed then the rash on my arm. They weren’t supposed to appear before the final stage.”

Arthur froze. “What are you saying?”

Merlin bit his lips. “Gaius looked into the book then, and he discovered the poison could be made stronger with magic. Like this, the poison is quicker. Once the rash are here… death would follow within two days.”

Arthur couldn’t help the gasp. He recalled his trip; he reminded himself how long he took… “Are you telling me I was really just in time?”

Merlin adverted his eyes. “Yeah…”

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“At the right moment, please?” In truth, he wanted to wait before Arthur knew.

Arthur fixed Merlin some moment longer, then sighed. “Alright.” Something else registered. “Bayard was no sorcerer.”

Merlin nodded. “That’s when Gaius realized something was wrong. He told me ‘Cara’ came into his mind, and then he could _not_ pass by the connection. He realized it was Nimueh. He told Gwen to find this serving girl.” He paused. “Apparently, most of her disguise was beauty. Everyone thought first of how beautiful she had been.”

“That explains how she charmed you.” Arthur gritted out.

Merlin just took Arthur’s palm from his waits and kissed it. “Gaius also told me I murmured your name.” Merlin smiled softly. “I do remember now. My magic-and me-we were looking for you.”

Arthur chuckled. “You and your magic really love me, do they?” He teased-though he knew this to be true.

Merlin’s only answer was to blush. “When Gwen returned with the news ‘Cara’ was nowhere, he then realized her plan. It was a trap-for you. More, she was getting rid of me _and_ you.” He snapped out angrily. Then he calmed down, focusing on something else. “I remember then, my magic heard Gaius. He told me I gasped again your name. I was still looking for you. My magic was coming closer and closer to finding you.”

“For my part, after riding for a long time, I found the forest.”

“I… remember.”

“What? How?”

“Gaius told me I kept mumbling in ancient tongue; and for my part… I started seeing _you_.”

Arthur blinked, registering. “You mean your magic, while you were _dying_ , made sure you knew where I was?”

Merlin grinned. “Yes. We were making sure you were fine.”

Arthur allowed a pleased smile to form. “This is… nice to know. So, did you see when I found Nimueh, pretending to be a runaway servant?”

Merlin frowned slightly, trying to recall. “A bit. Bits here and there. Enough to know she pretended to be scared and let you fight the cockatrice.”

Arthur winced. “It was quite… startling. Though, I did manage to kill it in the end.”

“Then she led you to the cavern, right?”

Arthur nodded. “I can see what you meant when you said she was a good actress. She got me too.”

Merlin’s expression turned sour. “She got all of us. I could see you going inside the cave with her. It was still a bit blurry; but I knew she was trapping you. Gaius even said I was telling you ‘it is a trap’ while unconscious.”

Arthur listened; quite awed at knowing Merlin still protected him while dying.

“Gaius said I then talked in the ancient language again. We still don’t know what I said, but I remember seeing you clearly after that. Like I was right here with you.”

Arthur widened slightly his eyes, amazed. “Really?”

Merlin glanced up at him, brushing the red bracelet again with a nod. “I also remember Gaius telling me to fight it.” He smiled softly. “It did help me some.”

Arthur smiled fondly. “I can guess. He is the father you never had.” He saw the flash of sadness in Merlin’s eyes and cursed. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t worry. It’s just…” Merlin shook his head faintly. “This is a story for later.”

Arthur blinked, surprised. Did this mean Merlin met or learned about his father?

“So, I saw it when she showed you the morteaus flowers; and then made the edge you were on falling. I felt glad you managed to grab the other side.”

Arthur shivered. “The moment I heard her chanting, I knew I was in trouble.”

“You don’t say.” Merlin bit out. “And then there was this spider. I have to admit, it’s impressive that you managed to protect yourself.”

Arthur smirked. “Thank you, dear.” He chuckled at Merlin’s cheeks taking a light coloring. “What did she mean; it wasn’t my destiny to die at her hand?”

Merlin blanched. He took some seconds before answering. “She had light seer power. She knew she would not kill you with her own hands or powers. She just thought the spiders could.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “Do you know something about that?”

Merlin, for the first time, really looked away from Arthur. Not just a shy or quick glance down; but a true escape from his piercing eyes. “Please. Not now. I… It is part of our past. But I would prefer not talking about it unless necessary.” Merlin whispered, pained.

Arthur’s face softened. He didn’t need to be a genius to know that Merlin heard something about Arthur’s death. While the thought terrified him; the only thing he could think of was to erase the look on Merlin’s face.

Arthur let his weight fell on Merlin, taking relief into the soft gasp Merlin made as he felt the warm body of Arthur half lying on him. The hand that wore the red bracelet left his waist; instead tugging down his neckerchief. Merlin let out a gasp and blushed brightly as he felt Arthur’s lips on his neck. He closed his eyes with a moan when said lips trailed up and down in a gentle manner.

Arthur smirked against Merlin’s neck. The neckerchief out of the way, his left hand brushed the tendons on the warlock’s neck. He trailed his lips against his adam’s apple, rewarded with a higher moan from Merlin. Arthur sucked gently right there, feeling a shudder pass through Merlin. Arthur felt warmth wash over his body; and he recognized right away Merlin’s magic. Pure, gentle, and oh so loving. Exactly as Merlin. He brushed his lips up then, finally settling from a spot right under Merlin’s jaw.

Merlin arched against Arthur as the King started licking and sucking at a soft spot he never knew he had. If his adam apple hadn’t been sensitive enough; now Merlin even felt his magic roll inside him with bliss. The fire they were in front of flickered before the flames became blue and leaped higher. All the while, Merlin felt Arthur marking him with a love bite. The thought alone made him moan and groan as his magic wrapped around them.

Arthur finally pulled back, his eyes catching from the side the blue flames. He smiled fondly as he noticed Merlin had his eyes still close, shivering in delight. “Let’s hear the rest, shall we?”

The fire went back to normal as Merlin opened his eyes. “Y-Yeah.”

Arthur took his previous position, his left hand stroking Merlin’s neck and collarbone.

Merlin had to swallow more than once before being able to speak again. “You were in the dark. I know I said aloud it was too dark. I wanted to give you light, to help you and guide you.” Merlin smiled. “Gaius said I chanted a spell-gratefully, Gwen wasn’t here at this moment. A small orb of white-blue light appeared inside my hand, surprising Gaius.”

“Ah!” Arthur exclaimed. “This is when you summoned this orb that helped me!”

Merlin nodded. “As I said, I wanted to help you. It seemed the best thing to do.”

“I have to admit, it surprised me. But… It was beautiful. I told you to finish me off, but I could feel the orb wasn’t my enemy. I saw it showing the way.”

“But you also didn’t forget the flowers. I was telling you to leave them. You didn’t listen.”

Arthur stared at Merlin. “I would have never leave them and let you die!”

Merlin glanced up coyly. “I’m glad. Though, at that time, all I wanted was for you to be safe.”

“I can guess.” Arthur turned thoughtful. “Do you know why you like to turn thing blue?”

Merlin blinked several times. “Sorry, what?”

“The orb, and the fire some minutes ago. They were blue.”

Merlin shrugged. “I feel like my magic is blue. Or golden blue.” He frowned. “I can’t explain it.”

Arthur nodded. In a certain way, he felt glad Merlin didn’t know everything about magic. Arthur felt less unknowing; and it also meant they could learn about the rest together.

“Anyway, I really wanted for you to follow the light and save yourself when I saw all the spiders. But you didn’t. You were head set on taking the flowers. I thought you would lose time because of that, but you proved me wrong. You managed to save me _and_ yourself. I kept telling you to go faster when I saw you were climbing.”

“I think… Not that I heard you, but I kept feeling the light-like it encouraged me. I guess it was really you all along.”

Merlin grinned. “Yes, until you get out. I couldn’t see you then. I knew you were safe.”

Arthur smiled and leaned down to kiss Merlin’s cheek. “Thank you, Merlin.” He leaned back to continue talking. “So, I came back to Camelot. I didn’t expect to be arrested as soon as I was there.”

Merlin frowned, wrinkling his nose. “That’s not fair.”

Arthur sighed. “Believe me, I know. I was angry. My father was angry because I disobeyed. I told him of course I did; your life was at stake. I told him not to punish you for something I did. He couldn’t understand why I cared for a ‘servant’. I reminded him you knew the danger and what would happen-but you drank it anyway. You saved my life. And I also told him about the woman-now I know it was Nimueh. How she knew I would be there and that I don’t think it was Bayard behind the poisoning. But he wouldn’t listen. Simply said of course it was. All I cared then was to save you. I showed him the flower. I told him that Gaius knew what to do of this. I told him I didn’t care if he put me in the stock for a week, a month then. I told him I was begging him. Just to make sure Gaius got it.”

Merlin felt warmth blossom into his chest. It was the first time he heard how Arthur had defended his life. To know Arthur had been so willing to allow punishment to make sure he lived… He couldn’t help the smile.

Arthur saw it, and hated that he needed to tell him the rest. But they were both sharing. Even if Merlin was the one who had the most to tell, Arthur still had some things to add.

“He… I can’t believe how cruel he was this day. He just crushed it in front of my eyes.” Unbidden-and unwilling to stop them-some tears fell from his blue eyes. “I-I still can’t quite believe how he was going to let you die to teach me a lesson. ‘A right and wrong way to do things’ Ah! He could have just said his way and others!”

Merlin sat up, alarmed at how worked up Arthur became. “Hey, hey. Look.” He caught his face and turned him so he was staring into his eyes. “I’m here. It’s fine. It’s over now.”

Arthur closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Merlin. He breathed deeply, calming himself. “I never want to lose you. Ever.” He whispered as he trembled.

Merlin gave him his most loving smile as his King opened sad eyes on him. “You won’t.”

Arthur gulped and nodded. “H-He even had the nerve to say I could find myself another servant when I was left out.” He bit his lips as Merlin pointedly looked at him. They took back their positions; though Arthur allowed his body to be closer to Merlin. He let his head on his right hand some moment; then he finally allowed himself more vulnerability and laid his head on Merlin’s chest. Hearing his heart beating felt like a balm. “It was… It was one of those rare occasions I… hated my father.” He admitted quietly. As if sharing a shameful secret.

Merlin let his hand brush softly Arthur’s blond hairs. “If I had been in your place, if someone-anyone-crushed the only mean to save you… I couldn’t _not_ hate them.” Merlin reassured.

Arthur tightened his grip on Merlin’s body, sighing contently as he felt Merlin breathing. “Once he left, I tried desperately to take back the flower. He had let it fall outside. Gratefully, I did manage to catch and drag it back to me.”

Merlin allowed himself to leaned down and kiss the top of Arthur’s hair. For once, the King was the one in need of comfort. He could only guess how it had felt, seeing the flower crumble just outside-maybe out of reach.

“I felt so relieved when I saw Gwen come inside my cell.” He paused. “Were you… so bad she took so much risk? I mean, I still thought you still had one or two days; I just thought maybe Gaius and her could wait, or try to talk sense into my father.”

Merlin stopped stroking the other man’s hairs for a second. “Gaius told me I had a lot of trouble breathing, and that I sweated a lot because of my fever.” He winced. “He had also been right. It was painful.”

“Oh Merlin…” Arthur whispered. “I feel really, really glad she sneaked inside. And that she understood I put the flower with the food when I said I couldn’t possibly eat the food.” He smiled faintly. “Told her I wasn’t sure it was fit for anyone.”

Merlin chuckled as he understood the hidden meaning. “I’m not the only one sneaky.”

Arthur laughed; the feeling of his laughs echoing inside Merlin from their closeness. “I guess Gwen did manage to bring it to Gaius in time?”

“… You can say that.”

Arthur remembered earlier. “What happened?”

“… Gaius told me that… He first told Gwen to search for water-because he needed to use magic.”

“What?”

“The poison had been created by magic. Magic was needed to make the antidote. But that isn’t what _happened_. He gave me the antidote, but in front of Gwen and Gaius… I stopped breathing and my heart stopped. He told me I was dead for a bit more than a minute.”

Arthur raised his head with wide eyes. “No… But…”

Merlin smiled as reassuringly as he could. “I’m still here. Gaius and I still don’t know what happened really. He told me he knew the antidote had come too late. We think… It was my magic saving me. Resurrecting me. Maybe it used the antidote.”

Arthur stared a bit longer at Merlin; and then couldn’t help but raised himself to kiss Merlin. Almost desperately, he licked his lips, plunging his tongue inside his mouth as soon as he was allowed entrance. He knew it was years ago. He knew Merlin was here.

It didn’t change the fact Merlin had died without him knowing; and might have stayed that way if it hadn’t been for this so ‘forbidden’ magic. In all his life, this was the first time he was thanking with all his heart magic. It had saved Merlin.

Eventually, they parted. Merlin stroked Arthur’s cheek, letting his King watch his face. He knew he needed the reassurance. The kiss had left him breathless-and not only by the passion behind it. He felt breathless to have felt so much how Arthur feared losing him. It felt like his own fear of losing Arthur.

“So. That’s when Gwen kissed me.”

“When you were d-dead?” Arthur stuttered the last word; though his surprise stopped most of the fear and sadness.

Merlin let out a surprised laugh. “No! I wake up suddenly; telling them as I saw them hug it was disgusting because Gaius could be her grandfather. Not great, I know; but I just woke up with no memories since I drank. They came much later. And that’s when in her surprise and joy, Gwen kissed me.”

“Ah… I see.” Arthur sheepishly said. Then he frowned faintly, not realizing he was pouting a bit. “A kiss… Kiss?” Merlin raised an eyebrow. Arthur coughed with a blush. “Tongues?”

Merlin flushed brighter than a tomato. “No! Just a press of the lips! I didn’t even use tongue with Freya!”

Arthur sighed, relieved; before registering. “Freya?”

Merlin’s eyes saddened. “It was her name. The one I loved.”

Arthur didn’t ask more. He already knew about the fact Merlin loved, once. He had felt something had gone wrong. Now, he felt sure Freya was dead.

“So. Gwen kissed me. Then she apologized. I… said it was more than fine.”

Arthur pouted.

“I was still in shock! And we weren’t yet… I still didn’t…”

Arthur laughed. “I know, idiot!” He teased fondly.

“Anyway! Gaius stopped the war with Mercia that almost erupted by telling your father it was Nimueh. Made him see it was what she wanted.”

Arthur frowned. “So, not only she could have kill us both; she also could have lead Camelot to war?”

Merlin nodded. “Sadly, yes. She was really dangerous.”

“Indeed. I think even father feared her. When Bayard left, he talked to me in the yard. I just had finished talking with Morgana about how I was saved by the blue orb-that I was helped. It was the first time I really started thinking not all magic was evil. Someone knew I was in danger and send a light.”

Arthur looked fondly at Merlin, who blushed. “So, your father talked to you?” he redirected.

Arthur chuckled but accepted the redirection. “He asked me about the ‘woman I met inside the forest’ and what she told me.” He smiled ruefully. “I guess he was afraid she told me about how I was born.”

Merlin smiled sadly. “I’m sure he had been afraid for you too.”

“Yes, I think so. He did ask me if I had been afraid.” Arthur sighed. “But then he went on with how those who practice magic are evil. That they despise and see to destroy goodness. Though, the way he talked, calling her evil… I had a feeling he knew her. When I asked though, he just said knowing one sorcerer is knowing all of them.” He glanced at Merlin. “Obviously, he was wrong.”

Merlin beamed. He still couldn’t quite believe it, though his magic certainly knew how Arthur had accepted him. It coiled and surged whenever Arthur talked, looked or touched him. It wasn’t really a lie to say it loved Arthur as much as he did.

“The most surprising thing was he told me I did the right thing; even though I was disobeying him. He told me he was proud of me.”

Merlin watched as Arthur raised himself a bit, no longer on his chest. “You must have been happy.”

Arthur put his head on his right hand again, his left hand brushing tenderly Merlin’s cheek and mouth. “Yes, but not as much as knowing you were alive. That’s why I come to see you. I wanted to see by myself how you were.”

“And I was happy to see. Gaius told me you saved me. You still hide behind a half-banter though.” He teased slightly.

A corner of Arthur’s lips lifted. “We were never quite good at talking serious without banter.”

“We still are. Less than before, but I don’t think we will ever stop.”

“And I don’t want us to.”

Merlin and Arthur exchanged a pleased grin. Their banter was part of their relationship; and both felt glad the other felt the same. It didn’t mean they wouldn’t be more open to each other-just that they had no wish to change because they were lovers now.

“We still thanked each other.” Merlin added.

“True. I think we both felt the need to, in the end.” Arthur paused. “I think… That was the very moment I accepted truly our friendship. I didn’t really care anymore that you were a servant. You almost died for me. I couldn’t forget that-even if I was not always the best of friends.”

Merlin smiled. “Everyone has their downsides. You saved me this day too; and I knew then-really knew-Kilgharrah was right. I could see myself staying by your side.”

Arthur let his left hand stop stroking Merlin’s neck and went back to his waist-pushing him closer. He leaned down, allowing them to share a soft kiss. A new Thank You to share for this day so many years ago.

_To be continued…_


	6. Lancelot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dears!  
> Thank you for the poke (you know who you are ;)), it did push me to write this! Just know the next chapter might not be soon, as it does ask me some time and leaves my brain half dead XD  
> 

_(Please don't forget I also publish and update[HERE](chrisemrysffs.tumblr.com). There are stories there I might not publish here, and I also have [HERE](myrdynemrysambrosius.tumblr.com) where I play Merlin! I only answer question, but won't you like that; being able to ask things? ;) Plus, I might say with Merlin some headcanons or things I won't always put here, so if you want the whole experience of Destiny Tales... You know what to do! ;P EDIT: I don't know exactly how to use the links, so I've seen it doesn't wort at first try. Just erase what is before "chrisemrysffs" and "myrdynemrysambrosius" XD)_

* * *

After sharing their soft kiss, Arthur shifted back, lying again on his back. Merlin followed, resting his head on his chest-right above his heart. The young Warlock wrapped an arm around his King’s waist, smiling faintly as he felt Arthur’s arms wrapping around his shoulders.

“So… Now I’m going to tell you about Lancelot.” Merlin grinned.

Arthur smiled back. He felt curious to know more about Lancelot, the man who had stolen the heart of Gwen-and not in a bad way. The young King could see how happy both were, and he remembered fondly their marriage. Then a thought entered his mind, and he had to ask.

“Wait… What is his link with your magic?”

Merlin wriggled a bit with slight tenseness. “I… He knew. About my magic. It is part of this tale.”

Arthur blinked. “So Gaius wasn’t the only one?”

Merlin glanced up, apologetic. “Lancelot and Gaius were the only one to know. And my mom, of course.”

Arthur nodded. Merlin felt a bit better, seeing no anger or disappointment in Arthur’s eyes. He had feared his lover would have not liked the fact someone else had known-someone so close to him as one of the Knights of the Round Table-but once again, the raven-haired was surprised by how Arthur reacted.

Merlin felt immensely grateful of Ygraine and Uther; as he had no doubt the quiet moment Arthur had passed with them earlier was the source of Arthur’s good reaction.

“It was one normal day; I was picking up mushrooms when I heard a screech. Imagine my surprise when I turned and the Griffin was charging at me!”

Arthur smirked. “You mean fear?”

Merlin threw a half-hearted glare. “Anyway, I ran away but I… tripped and fell quite soon.” Arthur barked out a laugh. “Oi! If Lancelot hadn’t arrived I could have been hurt!” That did sober Arthur. The blond frowned, pushing Merlin closer.

Merlin chuckled. “But as I said, Lancelot saved me. The Griffin-though at that time no one knew what it was-had been about to scratch me when he charged and slashed with his sword. It didn’t hurt the Griffin; but it did step back. Well, until Lancelot’s sword broke. Then he started running away and screamed at me to do the same.”

“We ran until we managed to jump behind some fallen trees. Thankfully, the Griffin just flew off then. I thanked Lancelot for saving me; and we introduced each other. But soon after he passed out; and I notice his wound. I brought him back to Gaius’. He reassured me, saying it was superficial and that the fever would pass.”

Arthur listened silently, not really surprised to know the first thing Lancelot did was saving Merlin-and getting hurt doing so. “I can guess it is the morning after my father and I rode to see the damages the Griffin had done. Though, like you, we had no idea what it was.”

Merlin continued then. “When Lancelot woke up, he told me that ever since he was a child he dreamed of coming to Camelot, to become a Knight. It was sad, how he immediately he belittled himself. He thought he expected too much, that he was nobody-even if he didn’t say it this way.”

Arthur sighed. “I’m glad I did change that as soon as I could.” He smiled slightly. “Tristan and Isolde are very good knights, even if they didn’t believe they would.” The King could remember their faces, when he had announced he wanted to knight them. Not only they were the first commoner Knights after Lancelot, Elyan, Gwaine and Percival; but Isolde had been the first woman knighted.

Arthur never regretted his choice; and felt even proud.

“I’m glad too you did that. I felt so happy to see that you had started ruling differently than your father-no offense. Anyway, I reassured him right away, telling him the people would love him, and that he could even shame you.”

“… True.” Arthur agreed. “The people do love him, and he is a one of my best Knight.”

Merlin grinned. “So, I told him I would talk to you right away.” He snorted. “I think he couldn’t believe his luck; that I knew you.”

Arthur chuckled. “It’s true he had been lucky, saving you out of all people. You did come right away, at my testing session right?”

Merlin looked up, smiling. “With Lancelot, yes. You were downright desesperate for good Knights.” He teased.

Arthur rolled his eyes-though not denying anything. “Well, when they didn’t last more than ten seconds…” Then realization hit. “Oh! You are the one who started the lie, right at the beginning!”

Merlin blushed. “I didn’t think! I wanted Lancelot to have his chance, so I could think of at the moment was to agree he was a noble!”

“Only you, Merlin. Only you!”

“Well, Lancelot was so happy when I told him you would meet him. It was worth it! Of course, I had to ask about any seal of nobility he could have after that…” He scratched his face, while Arthur laughed. “Gaius had to explain the first code; and then it looked like it was over for him… Later, I asked why he wasn’t to be a knight. His village was attacked by raiders when he was a boy; he alone escaped. He vowed then never to be helpless again against tyranny. He spent all his day, his life, to swordcraft and the art of combat.”

Arthur smiled slightly. “That’s our Lancelot.”

“And hearing that, I promised him I would make this right. I’m the one who went to the library, to seek records of seals. I used a parchment and magic to created Lancelot’s seals.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows. “That’s why it looked so real! My father said once the only way he guessed it was false was that he felt suspicious of the mysterious fifth son.”

Merlin sighed. “Maybe I should have been more careful…” He shrugged. “But who knew what might have happened if I did something differently?”

Arthur stroked the raven hairs slowly. “Things are good now, so let’s be happy with that.”

“I guess you’re right. As you might guess, Lancelot was too happy with the idea of lying; but I convinced him to accept the false seal.”

“Of course.” Arthur shook his head fondly. “Wait. Did you use magic right in the middle of the library, where Geoffrey might have seen or heard at any point?”

“… He didn’t, so everything is fine?” Merlin yelped as Arthur cuffed his head. “So! I convinced him by saying it was just getting his foot in the door. The rest would be his skill only.”

Arthur sighed once again. “That was thanks to Lancelot I realized the First Code was wrong, you know? I hadn’t thought before-not really-that we could miss good knight simply because they weren’t noble.”

“Good thing we met him, then? Oh! Speaking of meeting, Gwen met him then. We asked her to measure him and make his clothes.”

Arthur blinked down at Merlin. “I… do remember seeing Gwen with you at his test.” He turned thoughtful. “Did… Did they show… interest back then already?”

Merlin searched Arthur’s face, and when he saw mainly curiosity, he nodded. “I didn’t really register back then, but now I can see they… connected right away.” He chuckled. “They were both so… awkward. I did find it cute back then.”

Arthur felt a grin form. “I can picture that.”

“Lancelot even asked if we were… you know.” They both laughed. “It is funny, remembering how awkward he was.” Merlin glanced up at Arthur, mock-angry. “And you weren’t exactly nice when you met him.”

Arthur had the decency to blush. “I was tired of the failures! I had to test him…”

Merlin chuckled and raised himself a bit, kissing his jaws. “Well, at least you did give him a chance.”

“I was a bit impressed by his tenacity. I wanted to see then if it would last.”

“Hence mucking out the stables?” Merlin grinned. “It kind of gave out what I did to Gaius. He was comforting me about Lancelot, and being impressed I was taking it very well. Then Lancelot entered, smelling quite the part. You should have seen the look he was giving me. I did manage to lie and say he found work at the stable; but after saying ‘I see’ Gaius demanded the truth before he lost his temper.”

Arthur let out a laugh, deeply amused. “You and Gaius make quite the pair!”

Merlin groaned. “Of course, I said Lancelot was trying out for the knights. You can guess he wasn’t too happy. He asked me what I had done, and I replied I bend the rules-the _unfair_ rules. Gaius was angrier I used magic for that. Even if it was more of a trick.”

“Trick you had done with Geoffrey in the same room.”

Merlin stopped, pouting. Arthur nudged him slightly, kissing his hairs. After feeling Arthur’s breathe on his hairs, and a slight nip on his ear; Merlin relented.

“I argued I owed him my life and I repaid him the only way I could.”

Arthur allowed a small smile on his face. Moment like this showed him how noble and good-hearted Merlin truly was. “What you did was good. I went to see him as he worked; I felt… happy I guess to see him persevere. He did what I gave him without complain; even proposing sweeping when I threw him a broom. His face; you should have been here when I told him first to kill me.”

Merlin choked. “ _What?_ Can you please not invite anyone to _kill you_? I have enough trouble keeping you alive like that!”

Arthur went into fits of laughers, amused by Merlin’s indignation. However, he felt less amused when his face was suddenly drenched in water-Merlin strangely dry. He glared down at him, only to feel a heat on his face before he was dry again.

If he had not been on the receiving end of the prank, Arthur would have been impressed by how Merlin did all that with glowing golden eyes and a smirk. His eyes, though, felt attracted to Merlin’s mouth, as he saw it moved while Merlin whispered his spells.

Fascination replaced the annoyance. “You needed spells?”

Merlin blinked, startled by the sudden change. “Err, yes. I manipulated elements, it was better to clearly say what I wanted. I could have tried without spells, as it wasn’t a big use of water and fire, but there was the risk my magic went too… happily.”

“Yes, you do not want that.” Arthur replied dryly. Though, he still sent a small grateful look, warmth in his chest at knowing Merlin had chosen the less dangerous path. “Back to Lancelot; he fought well enough with a broom. I told him he made basic training.”

Merlin chuckled slightly. “Your way of saying he had good material to be a knight?” He sing-songed.

Arthur grinned sideway. “It was just after that the people attacked by the Griffin came inside Camelot.”

“I remember, me and Gaius were helping the injured. Lancelot arrived and asked what happened; and we both knew what the ‘winged monster’ that attacked the villagers was.”

“It was worrying my father, and he guessed it was heading for Camelot.”

“Gaius sought into the books what the creatures could be, but he couldn’t find it. I think you were preparing the Knights meanwhile?”

Arthur nodded. “That was when I decided to test Lancelot. I needed him; I could see he was good. And I have to say, it had been a great battle.”

Merlin beamed. “Yeah, impressive. We had to hold our breath with Gwen! His trick at the end is what got him a knight, right?”

“Yes. He did put me under his sword, after all.”

“Though, you got him and we scared, with how furious you looked. For a second I thought you would run him through!”

Arthur frowned faintly, glancing down at Merlin-perplexed. “That was how it looked like?”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t realize?” Arthur’s only answer was to blush. “Well, in any case: Lancelot became Sir Lancelot after. Though your father already suspected something, didn’t he?”

Arthur smiled faintly. “Yes, he did. I didn’t see back then; I focused on celebrating with Lancelot.”

Merlin smiled a bit fondly. “I told Gaius Lancelot deserved this moment. He warned me he did, but I played god and set him on a path of my choosing. We did not know what the future may bring. I just retorted the invitation said celebration.”

Arthur just smiled, amused.

“Gaius did agree and just told me to not come back late.”

Arthur chuckled. “It was a celebration, after all.” Then, he winced slightly. “I remember talking with Lancelot about Morgana, asking if he found her beautiful. Thinking of it now, I think he was talking of Gwen when agreeing.”

Merlin wrinkled his nose; grinning in amusement. “And for my part, I teased Gwen that Lancelot had eyes for her. I asked her to choose between you and him.” Then, he stopped, biting his lips. He had just realized how close to home it hit.

Arthur’s eyes saddened a bit; however, he felt only a small pang. He had Merlin in his arms right now, and in all honesty, all he felt was sadness that Gwen had to choose.

Wouldn’t have it been so much easier, if Merlin and him realized long ago their love; and Gwen wouldn’t have had to choose?

Merlin seemed to guess his thoughts. He snuggled closer, tucking his head under his chin. “Things are great now, so let’s not regret the past, shall we?” He offered, echoing Arthur’s words.

“Indeed. Though, I do feel curious: what did she say?”

“That she didn’t have to and never would.”

Of all things, it made Arthur laugh. “Oh, the irony.”

“I know.” Merlin smiled sadly. “The morning after wasn’t so jovial. Lancelot and I woke up with a hangover, and I assure you, the potion Gaius made for it would be enough to prevent us to ever drink again!”

Arthur made a face, knowing the potion too. “And yet it didn’t stop us to drink again.”

Merlin remembered the night Lancelot proposed, where Lancelot, Gwaine and Merlin had been drunk enough to dance on the table. “True.”

Arthur smirked; but quickly it fell. “Lancelot was arrested then, right?”

“Yeah. The guards came not even a minute after we downed the potion.”

Arthur sighed. “Of all things, I wasn’t angry he lied-not really. When Geoffrey announced it had been a forgery, all I could think of was that we were losing such a good knight. I did try to talk to my father, but he told me…” He hesitated a bit, knowing how the words could hurt Merlin. But Merlin fixed his eyes on him, piercing.

If Merlin shared, Arthur had too. They had agreed. “My father told me how I could trust a man that lied to me.”

And as expected, the King saw the moment the words hit Merlin. His face crumpled before he looked down-away from Arthur’s gaze. “Merlin. This is not true, you know that, right?”

Merlin smiled faintly. “I know. You have always been different-better, if I can say. You were willing to trust Lancelot, you did in the end. I had the same chance. It doesn’t change… the fact I feared for so long I would lose your trust.”

Arthur tightened his hold, nudging Merlin’s hairs until he had his cheek close to his mouth. Arthur kissed Merlin’s cheekbone, tender. “I’m sorry for that, I truly am. But don’t forget Merlin; things are good now. I know, and I don’t hate you. You didn’t lose my trust.”

Merlin beamed, pleased. “Thank you, Arthur. You know, I went to see him, in his cell. I didn’t know what to say; but he told me I was not to blame. He refused to let me think I pushed him. He assured the choice was his and that the punishment was his alone. When I said I wish I could do something, he answered I could stop blaming myself.”

Arthur smiled faintly. “Lancelot, always so noble.” Then he gazed down pointedly at Merlin. “Though, I bet you did _not_ stop blaming yourself.”

Merlin’s reddening cheeks were reply enough. He coughed, before talking again. “If things were bad then, well it got worse. Gaius found what the beast was-in books of myths and legends, not living creatures of the kingdom. And then the Griffin attacked Camelot.”

“I remember that. I also remember very well the moment my lance broke against its body.” Arthur commented sourly.

Merlin smiled in sympathy. “It’s like Gaius told your father later. Only magic could kill it.”

Arthur frowned slightly, thoughtful. “Of course. It was you, right?”

Merlin nodded. “But that is for later. As you know, since you were here; Gaius had to warn your father about the Griffin.”

Arthur sighed. “But as soon as he heard magic, he wanted to hear nothing.” He frowned. “I don’t understand; he battled against magic, but he refused to hear it had been the source. Wouldn’t have it been better?”

Merlin couldn’t help the scoff. “Like Gaius said, magic would have been needed. We are just lucky he didn’t feel suspicious that the Griffin had been defeated seemingly without it.” Then he softened. “You believed us; but like us you couldn’t argue against him.”

Arthur just nodded, feeling as sad. It had hurt, knowing even as his son, Uther Pendragon didn’t even listen to Arthur. The only soothing fact was to know his father was all well, and with his mother.

To Merlin, it also helped calm the slight anger he had accumulated during the years; but mainly the pity. As surprising as it could be, Merlin had known long ago-especially after Morgana’s betrayal had been exposed-that Uther brought sadness to Merlin’s heart. He understood why the old King had been like that, even if he hadn’t like his reactions.

“So, Gaius and I went back to our room. There, he asked of me something I wouldn’t have thought-and I still don’t, most of the time. He had always been wary of me using my magic, but in some cases…”

Arthur widened his eyes. “He actually asked you to use magic?”

“Yes. He said you would die. My first thought was to make your father see reason; but Gaius said when it concerned magic he was blind to reason.” He paused; a bit apologetic-but Arthur nodded, agreeing. “Gaius then said magic was our only hope, and I started guessing what he meant. I thought I couldn’t go against that thing. I didn’t even know back then how powerful I am-or I am supposed to be.”

Arthur didn’t comment, knowing from some of the things he said earlier that Merlin still didn’t know the extent of his magic-though he did know he was the most powerful warlock ever.

But like Merlin, Arthur wondered: How powerful can the most powerful be?

“Of course, Gaius knew what to say to sway me. If I didn’t do it, you would die. I did not want that; but I really thought I had not magic so powerful. I feel ashamed of how I reacted; I started accusing him of not caring what happened to me… He told me he cared only about me in all this world.”

Arthur smiled fondly. “He is like your father, right?”

“Of course. I didn’t know my father until it was too late. Gaius is the closest thing I have to a father now.”

Both realized what Merlin said. Arthur blinked several times, knowing he had the confirmation to what he had guessed: Merlin had met his father. “Later, I guess?”

Merlin nodded with a small grateful smile. “He also told me he would give his life for me without a second thought, but he couldn’t save Arthur.” His face saddened. “I can’t believe how close it passed to make his word true…” He shook his head when Arthur opened his mouth. “Later.”

Arthur closed his mouth, petulant. At least, he knew Merlin _would_ tell him. However, he didn’t like the sound of that-had Gaius been close to death?

“After that, I could only say sorry. Then, I knew we had only two hours to find a way to kill the Griffin.”

“I guess it’s around the same time I went to see Lancelot. I… did yell on him a bit-that he didn’t sound or look like a knight, I should have known. But as I said, he fought like a knight. I-and Camelot- needed a knight like him, though I couldn’t finish that sentence. He asked about the creatures, and I confirmed we couldn’t kill it. He said he faced it too, and that he didn’t know how it endured his strike. I told him some people believed this Griffin was a creature of magic, and that only magic could kill it. He asked me if I believed that. I told him it didn’t matter, as magic was not permitted.”

Merlin gave him a strange look, and Arthur raised an eyebrow in question. “Arthur… You sound like… I don’t know, like you regretted magic couldn’t be used.”

Arthur gave a small sour smile. “In all honesty? Yes, I allowed myself to think what if Gaius was right, and I cursed that we didn’t know anyone that could help. But I didn’t know back then there was someone.”

Merlin blushed, pleased beyond words. It felt good, knowing Arthur had thought of having magic on his side back then.

“I’m not sure if Lancelot told you exactly what happened, but I told him there was a horse outside. He thanked me-I think he believed I was allowing him to fight. But it was so he could leave…”

Arthur didn’t say it had been banishment, but both knew it. “He told me.” Merlin confirmed.

“But he refused. He said it wasn’t his freedom he sought; he only wished to serve with honour. I knew, of course; but I couldn’t let him. My father would have had his head. I didn’t tell him I released him; it was all I could do for Lancelot.”

“And it was honorable, Arthur.”

Arthur grinned, feeling pleased that Merlin complimented him. He bent down, catching his mouth by surprise. Merlin opened his mouth in a soft gasp, then moaned softly as Arthur’s tongue stroke his. Much too soon, Arthur withdrawed.

Merlin allowed a pout to be directed to Arthur, enjoying how his lover tensed with the will to let him continue the tale. Eventually, Merlin took pity and stopped, talking again.

“We found a spell, but I had never cast a spell so powerful before. Gaius told me nothing less would kill it. He made me try with a knife, assuring me he knew I had it in me. Sadly, it didn’t work the first time.”

Arthur hummed. “You did tell me that you still need to master spells, even if you take less time.”

“Exactly. In fact, I could feel my magic… coil from the enchantment. But I couldn’t direct it. I needed more training at controlling so much power.”

“But you did manage, since you killed it.”

Merlin scratched his head. “Yeah…”

Arthur chuckled. “But?”

Merlin grinned sheepishly. “I was still trying-and falling to cast the spell when Gwen barged into our chambers.”

Arthur interrupted. “You tried for two hours straight?” His eyebrows shot up.

“Well, it was nothing compared to the whole night I spent to reveal Valiant’s snakes, right?”

Arthur hummed in acknowledgement, but he still felt awed-and more importantly, touched. If he was honest with himself, he loved knowing how much Merlin had fought for him. He didn’t like the dangers and trials, of course; but how could he not feel warm at knowing Merlin didn’t hesitate to spend hours to make sure Arthur would live?

“Anyway, Gwen came to warn us Lancelot was riding out to kill the Griffin. I had to run after him then. I didn’t really care I still hadn’t managed the spell; both of you were in danger.”

Arthur’s mouth twitched in a smile, stroking Merlin’s hairs as the ocean blue eyed man shifted closer, twisting his hand in Arthur’s tunic. The red bracelet Merlin gifted Arthur brushed his arm as Merlin moved; and he loved to feel the reminder that he owned Arthur as much as Arthur owned him-even if it was a simple gift.

Merlin knew Arthur cherished the bracelet. He had saved money for it, long before he knew he would let Arthur see his parents. He had been glad to see how pleasantly surprised Arthur had been.

“So, I told Lancelot I would come with him, but he said I’m not.” He grinned. “I think it was one of those times he realized how stubborn I can be. I actually told him to try and stop me. He argued I was not a soldier; but I replied you needed all the help you could get.”

“Which include a Warlock.” Arthur added amusingly. “You really are stubborn; but I guess I have to be grateful for that.”

Merlin smirked. “You bet. We rode then, to look for you. We heard you all shouting, and the fight. When we arrived, you were passed out; and a lot of knights were dead. We heard the Griffin coming closer then. Lancelot went back to his horse and prepared to charge. I tried the spell three times; and it was only at the fourth time it worked.” He smiled, a bit fond. “I… loved how the spell worked. It wrapped around his lance in blue flames, and it made the lance pierce the Griffin’s chest. It killed it right then.”

Arthur returned the fond smile. “I would have liked to see that.” He confessed. “It does sound like your magic is blue, you know.” He added, remembering they had wonder about that-the blue ball, blue flames…

Merlin glanced away shyly, a pleased smile betraying how he loved hearing that. Then, his eyes landed on Excalibur, resting on the table. “I could show you.” He admitted, gesturing to the sword.

Arthur widened his eyes. “You are sure? I mean, does it need a target?”

Merlin shook his head. “The spell only wraps a weapon with my magic. It’s a sort of cooperation, you can say. Look.”

His eyes went to Excalibur. **_“Bregdan anweal gafeluec!”_**

Arthur shivered at the sound of Merlin’s voice as he casted-feeling the power behind it. He first stared into the golden eyes of his love-mesmerized-before a blazing blue caught his look. He gasped as his eyes followed, awed by Excalibur lifted into the air, surrounded by blue flames. It looked so beautiful; he wondered how anyone could see it as evil.

“It’s… so beautiful, Merlin.”

“It’s magic; in its purest form.” Merlin watched the sword, musing. “It’s gold and blue.”

“Uh?” Arthur managed to stop staring at his sword, glancing at Merlin.

“My magic. If you look closely, you can see sparks of gold with the blue. I never had the occasion to simply watch my magic.”

Once Arthur gazed back to the flames, he saw what Merlin said. The blue was a light shade, and if one watched closely, they could see it wasn’t white that made the blue lighter, but gold. “Do you think it has a meaning?”

Without thinking, Merlin answered. “Blue is purity, and Gold power.” Then, he blinked. “I… don’t know how I knew that.”

Arthur stared back at Merlin, as the Warlock finally stopped the spell without even a thought. The sword went back on the table, the flames vanishing. “It happens often?”

Merlin frowned. “Not really; but I did notice I tend to… I don’t know, have a sort of… knowledge. It’s like; it just there, but I can’t really touched it. The last few weeks, this feeling has become stronger and stronger; but I don’t know why.” He shrugged. “The only event I can think of is my 25th birthday, in some months.”

Arthur hummed. “Well, sounds like you know it _is_ special; if your mind focused on that.” He offered. _I need to find a present_ , he also thought.

Merlin blinked owlishly. “Said like that… Maybe. Anyway! As I said, it worked on my fourth try. I admit I was getting desesperate for it to work; so I think it made my magic obey. Once the Griffin was killed; and I heard you waking up, I left so you could see only Lancelot.”

“You wanted him to have the glory of this.” Arthur realized.

Merlin smiled softly. “Of course. After all, I couldn’t explain how I did that, right? And Gaius’ happiness was enough. I couldn’t hope for more back then.”

Arthur’s eyes saddened. “I’ll make sure you have all the glory you deserve, Merlin.” When Merlin blushed and opened his mouth, he cut him. “I know you don’t want it, I know. But you deserve it. You deserve my gratefulness, and the one of everyone else.”

Merlin grinned, happy. He cuddled-actually cuddled-and sighed in bliss. “But you should know only you matters.” He confessed. “I mean, I would still feel happy if it was Gaius or my friends; but…”

Arthur silenced him with a kiss. He bit his bottom lips, then pulled back. Merlin whined, all babblings forgotten. Seeing how Merlin seemed lost in Arthur’s sky blue eyes, the blond chuckled and decided to talk a bit.

“I went to my father when we returned. As soon as he congratulated me, I refused it and announced it had been Lancelot. I thought he… I don’t know; that he would be happy. But immediately he got angry and ordered him to wait outside. He then started to yell at me. I confessed I released him, but I felt persuaded his actions changed things. My father didn’t agree-of course.” He added the last bit bitterly.

Merlin winced, sad to see the pain in Arthur’s gaze that his father hadn’t been able to see the goodness in Arthur’s action-or better, the _rightness_.

“I kept defending him; he had laid down his life for me and served with honour. He said that under these circumstances, he could offer a pardon. It was enough for me. He deserved to be at his rightful place-as a knight of Camelot. But of course, ‘the law is the law’; and I told him the law is wrong.” He calmed down a bit, as Merlin stroke gently his bracelet. He still felt sour to have lost Lancelot back then. Even if he did knight him later, it would have been good to have him as a knight for all these years Arthur didn’t know where he was.

“That’s when I found Lancelot. I asked him what you were doing, and he replied ‘deciding my fate’.” Merlin decided to continue the talking, wanting to soothe Arthur with his voice. It seemed to work, as he felt Arthur relax under him. “I felt sure Lancelot could have his knighthood restored; I didn’t really wonder what your father would think. As I said, he killed the Griffin. That was then he said that he didn’t.”

Arthur stayed silent, guessing where this was going. And like Merlin had hoped, it had shifted his focus on Lancelot and Merlin-not his father anymore.

“I felt some panic as he said I did. I laughed, saying it was ridiculous. But he wouldn’t have it; he actually dare start to say the spell, saying he heard me, and saw me. I think he saw then on my face how scared I was, because he told me not to worry, that my secret was safe with him.” He chuckled. “It is so true. He didn’t even tell Gwen, even though they married.”

Arthur felt glad for such loyalty; he guessed how hard it might have been for Lancelot, not telling the love of his life a secret so big. It would have hurt Arthur; to hide something from Merlin-like he knew Merlin had hurt from hiding his magic.

“Lancelot then said he couldn’t take the credit for something he didn’t do. He wanted no more lies, no more deceit.”

“Oh! That’s when he barged in?” Merlin nodded. “I was surprised my father did let him speak; and I even think his speech impressed my father.”

Merlin smiled. “Lancelot does have this effect.”

“As do you.” Arthur blurted out.

Merlin snapped his eyes up, wide eyes watching the blush form on Arthur’s face. “Thank you, Arthur.” The young Warlock felt his own cheeks heat up.

He still felt unused of how open Arthur was with him now, even more than before. He felt Arthur tap his ear lightly, a quiet way for the King to banter like they usually did. On any other day-or for anything else-Merlin held no doubt Arthur would have cuffed his head; but they were quite serious right now, and none of them felt the need to hide their feelings behind banter.

Eventually, Merlin finished this tale. “Gaius and I watched Lancelot go. I thought aloud he had been right, that I played with his fate; but he disagreed. He said Lancelot needed me and I needed Lancelot. I wondered if he would ever return, and Gaius said he couldn’t know that.” Merlin chuckled. “He did, in the end.”

“That he did. Now, please go on the next story?” Arthur pleaded.

Merlin let out a laugh. “Alright, Alright you prat; don’t even let me breath!”

_To be continued…_


	7. A remedy to cure all ills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dears! So sorry for the wait ^^" This is one of my less favorite episode, so I had trouble getting to it XD Also, this chapter is shorter than my others, simply because there were less scenes I could use.
> 
> Enjoy~~

(Don't forget I have a blog for my fanfictions (chrisemrysffs.tumblr.com) where you can message me; and a blog for Merlin (myrdynemrysambrosius.tumblr.com) where you can ask him question, and find headcanons.

And also, it happens that you find spoilers ;) Merlin is currently set **_after_** the Epilogue of Our Past (which means there are spoilers for said Epilogue) and exactly one month before his 25th birthday. Yes, there is a reason for this setting. And believe me, it will be interesting later to be able to talk to Merlin ;P

_Note that even if you don't have a blog, you can leave messages or ask questions in anon)_

* * *

 

Arthur smirked slightly. “Oh, I can think of something else that would prevent you from catching your breath.”

The King watched as Merlin turned a nice shade of red. He chuckled as his lover hit his arm, but didn’t say more. He _did_ want to hear the next story, after all.

“The next story is about Edwin.” Merlin started, biting out the name with some venom.

Arthur frowned, trying to organize his memories. “He tried to kill my father, right?” Merlin nodded. Arthur’s eyes widened. “Did you save my father this day?”

Merlin grinned. “I told you I did save your father in the past.” Then he sobered. “He also was the one to make Morgana ill; and he also wanted to take revenge on Gaius.”

Arthur blinked. “Why?”

Merlin smiled faintly. “Let’s go in order, yeah? As you remember, Morgana became ill one day, and Gaius couldn’t do anything. I proposed curing her; but Gaius told me it wasn’t a magical illness and I shouldn’t use magic to cure a conventional illness.”

Arthur sighed. And once again, magic could have been so useful. “And then Edwin appeared, claiming to have a remedy to cure all ills. I admit he was clever, waiting some days after Morgana became ill; and not pushing. He only told me he would be at the inn, in case we changed our mind. Basically, he waited for us to welcome his trap with open arms.”

Merlin wriggled a bit, tucking his head under Arthur’s chin and kissing his neck. He smiled faintly at the pleased sigh he heard from Arthur. “He deceived us all.” Then he let out a chuckle. “Do you remember how nervous I was?”

Arthur laughed. “You wouldn’t stay in place! Neither did your legs!” He teased.

“You ended up pacing because of me.” He slyly retorted.

Arthur taped his ear with his finger, smirking at Merlin’s yelp of protest. “It was only once Gaius announced Morgana had some hours left that I talked about Edwin.” He frowned. “Now that I think about it, the first thing Gaius asked was if he knew him.”

Merlin looked up; catching Arthur’s inquiring sky blue eyes. “As you might guess, they did know each other. Gaius didn’t realize how he was until later.”

Arthur snorted. “Edwin was a real bootlicker. Do you remember how he was all praise for Gaius and bows to my father?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I do.” Then he blinked. “How did you know I was here?”

“I saw you arrive.”

“Oh... That’s why you said right away I was at his service.” Merlin observed sheepishly. Then, he smiled with a hint of cockiness. “Even then you couldn’t help but watch me?” he teased.

Arthur growled, tightening his grip on Merlin and brushing his mouth on his cheek. “Watch your tongue, or else I will punish it.”

Merlin scowled as he felt once again hotness on his face. He chose to proceed with the tale. “I should have known all his materials weren’t strictly ‘alchemy’, as he called it.”

“No one could know.” Arthur paused. “Now I understand better why he wanted everyone out the room.” He glanced down at the raven haired. “What did he do?”

“I believe he commanded out the beetle that was eating Morgana’s brain.”

Arthur winced. “And he had been the one putting it here?”

Merlin nodded. “It was the first step to gain trust. And it explains how he had a tissue of blood to show.”

“Too much clever for our sake.” Arthur commented dryly. “To the point that he didn’t even have to ask for reward! It was so much more successful to deny rewards to have my father propose for him to stay and help Gaius.”

Merlin raised himself, coming face to face with his King. “We now know to be more careful.” He grinned. “And you know now you can ask me if you suspect someone.”

Arthur smiled, leaning up and kissing chastely his warlock’s mouth in agreement. Merlin closed his eyes, returning the light kiss with a sigh. Then they parted as Merlin opened his eyes, smiling down at the man he loved. Finally, he laid back down on his chest.

“I was fooled too. I visited and he wasn’t here; and of course I entered. I was curious. One box caught my attention-I guess my magic felt the one around it-and I opened it. There were unmoving beetles inside. I closed it, and I saw words in the old tongue. I said them, and they started moving. Of course, it was the moment Edwin decided to praise me. He must have entered while I said the spell. I tried to play innocent, but he opened the box and used a word to make them stop. He then affirmed I had magic. I denied it, saying it wasn’t me; but only magic could have bring them to life.”

Arthur sighed. “Remind me to warn you against randomly reading things in the tongue of spells?”

“I didn’t know at that time that it was magic!” Merlin protested. “And you should know not everything in the old tongue is a spell!”

Arthur turned curious. “Really?”

Merlin nodded. “Sometimes it can be simple stories, or warnings. Things like that.”

Arthur nodded too. He nudged Merlin, hoping to hear what happened.

Merlin grinned up at him, amused by the blond’s eagerness. “He pretended the beetles cured Morgana. He said magic could be a force for good.”

Arthur felt his heart break a little. “This is something you rarely heard-and that you wanted to hear.”

Merlin smiled at the understanding of his King. “This is how he fooled me. He said that we had a gift. When he saw that I gathered some powder I knocked down, he did it with magic. He proposed to teach me. I... I wanted to show off then. At that time I wasn’t as careful as now.”

“You don’t have to justify your action, Merlin. I understand.” Arthur felt good to admit.

Merlin smiled up gratefully. “I used my own spell to make the bottle of powder levitate and pour it. He asked how I used this, but I retorted Gaius didn’t let me. He affirmed my gift should be nurtured, enjoyed.” He groaned. “I can’t believe how easily I fell for this.”

“He was very good at using weakness.” Arthur muttered.

Merlin rubbed the red bracelet with his fingers, silently agreeing. He stroke up and down the gift he gave Arthur hours earlier until he spoke again. “I just don’t like how he wanted me to turn against Gaius. I realize it now; he was here to destroy Gaius’ life, and I was one of his ways to do so.”

Arthur didn’t like too to know someone had wanted to use Merlin. “It’s in the past now. I’m sure Gaius has forgiven you, and even forgotten.”

Merlin smiled. He shifted, kissing softly Arthur’s bracelet before trailing his lips on his wrist. “You’re right.” He whispered. Then he went back to resting his head on Arthur’s heart. “I think Gaius had been researching for who Edwin was meanwhile. I remember one morning where I found him with a book.”

“And I guess it’s also around that time that my father asked Edwin to review Gaius’ works.”

“Probably. Gaius didn’t tell me what he found. I think he didn’t want me to feel worried, or to burden me.” He frowned. “I wish he did. He was more important than him.”

“He was trying to protect you, Merlin.” Arthur soothed.

“I know. I came back from gathering supplies and I came to see Edwin, but Gaius was here. I felt curious, but he simply said that they had been talking. I learned later that Gaius had confronted Edwin with the knowledge he had been the son of two dark magic users. Edwin was here to take revenge because Gaius didn’t do anything to save them, he was their friends.” He glanced up at Arthur. “But they hadn’t been innocent. I understand Gaius.” His fingers tightened on Arthur’s shirt. “When Gaius threatened to talk to your father, Edwin told him they could also talk about me. Basically, he threatened him to tell the truth about me if Gaius talked about Edwin.”

Arthur let out an unhappy sound. “Bastard.” He muttered. “He guessed Gaius cared about you.”

“Indeed. I understand now, why he told me to do what Edwin asks. I think he was in fact telling himself to stay silent.”

Arthur stroked through Merlin’s hairs, kissing the top of his head. He could feel how unhappy all this made Merlin. He hesitated speaking, but Merlin threw a piercing look. “It was then that he pretended he found mistakes in Gaius’ works. That Gaius was outdated. It made me unhappy, too. I always loved Gaius. Even Morgana didn’t agree.” He smiled sadly. “She loved him too.”

Merlin snuggled closer. “We all do. Kilgharrah told me Gaius visited him one of these nights. He needed advice. Kilgharrah wasn’t too helpful; he was still full of anger. Though, that’s how Gaius learned I really had this destiny with you-and that I talked with Kilgharrah.” He kissed Arthur’s right hand, still stroking the left one-and its bracelet-without really realizing.

“In the end, Gaius didn’t tell about Edwin when my father decided to replace him by Edwin.” Arthur commented, breathing Merlin’s scent-his nose in his hairs. “Poor Gaius...”

“And did you know he planned to leave?”

Arthur widened his eyes. “What?”

“As soon as I learned, I came back to our chambers. He was packing. He said he couldn’t stay where they was no use for him. But I guess he didn’t want to watch-not when he knew what his choice would bring.” Merlin admitted with sympathy. “I tried to reason with him, I didn’t want him to go. But he wouldn’t be swayed. I left saying I wouldn’t let this happen.”

Arthur’s eyes brightened in understanding. “That was then that you asked me why my father would sack him for one mistake.”

Merlin nodded. “And when you answered it wasn’t the only one, I knew something was wrong Though, I didn’t think of speaking to Edwin. I only went to seek him when you asked me, after your father had Morgana’s sickness. Though, we both now know it was the beetle. Edwin wanted revenge on your father too.” He paused, eyes shadowing with anger. “I found Edwin in his chambers, having encircled Gaius with fire.”

Arthur let out a sound of shock.

“Gaius told me later Gwen was the one to convince him he still had a choice. He came back to stop Edwin, but his magic wasn’t strong enough. I asked what he was doing, and Gaius answered that he was trying to kill the king and that he couldn’t let him. Edwin said he could rule the kingdom with me by his side.” Merlin snorted.

“Wrong thing to say?” Arthur ventured.

“Of course! I told him to release Gaius. He threw at me a decorative axe, but thankfully I have quick reflex with magic. I hadn’t had the time for spells; I stopped it like I’ve always been able to. He tried to use a spell to kill me with the axe, but my magic was stronger. I threw back the axe.”

“And... he couldn’t dodge it, I guess?”

“No. The magic I used had been instinctive. He tried to kill me, and it reacted.” Merlin smiled faintly. “I could say this is my most dangerous magic, the one that protects me from death.”

Arthur noticed a certain... sadness. His mind searched a cause, and he didn’t need to seek much to take a guess. “It was the first time you killed someone?”

Merlin glanced up, sad. “Yes. I busied myself with asking if Gaius was fine; then I took the box of beetles. I still believed they had cured Morgana, and so that they could your father.”

Arthur didn’t comment out loud, but he felt happy to know Merlin hadn’t hesitate in saving his father-the man who would had wronged his kin.

“Gaius told me they were called elanthia beetles. They were magical, and could be enchanted to enter the brain and feed from it.” He stuck his tongue out in disgust. “All was clearer then.”

Arthur shuddered. “Indeed.”

“I asked Gaius how to remove the beetle, and he said it could only be magic. I was afraid; your father could kill us for that. But Gaius said there were times where it was necessary. I couldn’t let your father die. I used the spell on the box; and willed my magic to take out the beetle.” Merlin grinned. “It worked; and Gaius called me a genius! Your father awakened then-he didn’t hear me casting the spell. Gaius pretended he had given him something.”

Arthur smiled. He nudged Merlin, making him look up. When the ocean blue eyes caught his sky blue ones, he bent down and took Merlin’s upper lips between his own. His eyes fluttered closed at the same time as his lover, enjoying the soft pleased sounds the warlock made as Arthur nipped each of his lips.

“I’m proud of you.” Arthur murmured once they broke apart; and he took delight in Merlin’s flushed skin.

“Gaius was too.” Merlin mumbled. “Like us, he liked when he was made free man of Camelot-of course. But he said it was ridiculous because I was the one who saved your father.” He smiled. “I told him that for once, I was happy to let someone else take the credit.”

Arthur grinned with pride and kissed Merlin. The raven haired gasped at the sudden kiss; which allowed Arthur to invade his mouth with his tongue. Merlin moaned at the feel of his king massaging his tongue with his own. They kissed for a minute or two, lost in the feeling.

Eventually, they parted. Arthur gave Merlin a hot gaze while the warlock rested back beside his King, his head on his chest. He listened to Arthur’s heart, smiling as he noticed it was quicker than normal.

“You seem affected, my King.”

Arthur flushed. “Shut up and move on to the next story, Merlin!”

Merlin smirked. “How can I continue if I shut up?”

“Oh, just talk!”

_To be continued..._


	8. The Gates of Avalon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dears! I'm very sorry for the wait ^///^ I tend to not notice how long I take to update, even though I do have the story on my mind... Especially as some things have happened, though all is fine now :3 So, enjoy the new chapter of Our past~~ And thank you to everyone reading, following, and commenting <3
> 
> ps: I'm the one correcting myself, so I'm sorry if I miss anything ^^"

(Useful links: My fanfiction blog --> <http://chrisemrysffs.tumblr.com/>

My rp blog for Merlin of this serie --> <http://myrdynemrysambrosius.tumblr.com/> )

* * *

“ Alright, alright, I will talk! My next story is about Sophia.”

Arthur groaned. He remembered how he almost eloped with this girl, and honestly, he still wondered why he even considered it-or how his memories were elusive.

Seeing Arthur’s frown and his thoughtful look, Merlin decided to spare him some thinking. “She had enchanted you.” He smiled faintly as Arthur glanced down at him, surprised. “You didn’t realize after all this time?” He asked, amused, as he pressed closer to Arthur’s side.

Arthur blushed slightly. “I didn’t really think about it, and I never truly wondered up until now.”

Merlin nodded. “Well as you might remember, the day started with us on a hunt.”

Arthur smirked. “Yes, I remember how you were completely unsubtle.” Then, the king frowned. “Wait... You can be subtle if you want, with your magic...”

Merlin flushed. “Well, it is true that I did make noise often on purpose, but... I am clumsy. And I didn’t know much about hunting at that time!” He cleared his throat. “So, we were hunting, and then we heard a woman scream.”

Arthur sighed. “And we rushed to help. It isn’t supposed to be bad thing...”

Merlin smiled fondly. “It isn’t a bad thing. We can’t know if the person we help will be an enemy; and it is better to help than do nothing.”

Arthur grinned fondly and kissed Merlin’s cheek. “That’s my Merlin.” He gazed lovingly into Merlin’s eyes as the ocean blue eyes raised to meet his with a certain shyness. It amazed Arthur, how Merlin could be so... innocent from simple praises. It warmed his heart to realize it was Arthur himself who had this effect on Merlin.

Merlin, for his part, raised himself a bit to plan a firm kiss on Arthur’s lips; enjoying the small sound of surprise. The warlock had seen how his lover had started thinking, and it had been amusing, surprising him like this. Then, he let his head fell back on Arthur’s chest and started talking again.

“So, we went to help. You fought, and I discreetly used magic when the first bandit got up again. I made a branch fall on him.”

Arthur quirked his lips upward in a small smile. “Ah... The stroke of luck.”

Merlin grinned. “Yeah.” Then his mood soured a bit. “You were under Sophia’s charm right away, and it wasn’t an enchantment then.”

Arthur smirked, but his softening eyes betrayed the small warmth Merlin’s obvious unhappiness-and even jealousy-brought to the king. “She might have caught my eyes this day, but she never held my heart.”

Merlin smiled again. “You were too good for her.” He affirmed, refusing to blush at his praise of Arthur. It was true in a sense; she had needed a spell to make Arthur seemingly in love with her. “We brought them to Camelot, and your father welcomed them. And Sophia still played being charming.” Merlin grumbled. Then he sighed, admitting honestly. “Though, at that time I didn’t know what she planned, and all I saw was you and her being attracted. It was cute...”

Arthur blinked, pleasantly surprised. “So, it made you happy?” He guessed.

Merlin nodded. “We were friends already, though I can’t say for sure if I felt something for you back then. All I wanted was for you to be happy, and I saw you happy when you court her.”

Arthur hummed, his heart swelling. “I’m just glad it didn’t go far. I’m happy now, more than with anyone else.”

Merlin smiled up at Arthur, his eyes gentle and full of love. He had always wanted the best for Arthur, and even when he had realized he felt more than friendship, Merlin had still wanted Arthur happy-even if he hadn’t thought he could be the one to make him happy. Hope for mutual feeling had arisen as Arthur and he had grown closer after Morgana’s betrayal was revealed; and now... Now Merlin felt glad to be able to love Arthur fully, and be loved in return.

“Me too, Arthur.” Then, Merlin started his tale again. “It was kind of funny you know, how you went from ‘put her next room’ to ‘put her far away’ with a single of mine.”

Arthur blushed slightly. “Oh, shut up.”

Merlin smirked. “That’s what you said too back then.” He received a small hit on his butt for that, making him squeak. He glared up at Arthur, pouting slightly.

Arthur just kissed him softly, nipping at his bottom lips. “Go on, love.”

Merlin stuck out his tongue for good measure before actually continuing. “In the end, you asked her to be put in the room next to yours.” He paused a bit, recalling how cute he had found his master this day. It had been why he had wanted to help him court Sophia; to see this slightly vulnerable Arthur. “You should know... The first time Morgana saw Sophia, I was here, and Morgana asked me who she was. She seemed worried, and she affirmed Sophia couldn’t stay here.”

Arthur frowned in puzzlement. “Why would she..?”

“I wondered too. I asked if she was alright, and she just put back a smile and answered yes. I learned later that she had dreamed of Sophia drowning you.”

Arthur winced. “Did it... happen?”

Merlin looked up. “Almost. But let’s keep things in order.” Arthur nodded. “Gaius told me later that Morgana had come to him. She told him she had another dream, where you were under water, drowning; and there was a woman standing over you, watching you die, and that she was here, in Camelot. Gaius told her mind played tricks, but she replied she had the dream before the woman came.”

Arthur made a small, “Oh.” Then he added, “Sophia.” And then, he frowned. “Gaius knew about her visions?”

Merlin nodded. “He had hoped they were only dreams, though he had always feared it wasn’t the case. He tried to protect her by not telling her, and by making draughts that kept some of them at bay. But in the end the visions became too powerful to be contained.”

Arthur sighed. “Do you think it would have been better if she had known what was happening to her?”

Merlin’s whole face saddened. “Maybe. We will never know. But I wish... I could have helped her.”

Arthur tightened his arms around Merlin’s body, kissing his hairs with affection. “You always ever did what you thought right.”

Merlin snuggled to Arthur, finding relief in Arthur’s gentleness. He had never known it would feel so good, receiving Arthur’s love and comfort.

“Gaius told Morgana she must be mistaken, but she knew what she had seen, and said so.” Merlin continued. “Gaius reassured her that they were just dreams, though he still kept in mind that Morgana had seen Sophia kill you. He still told her to not bother Uther with her dream. He said there was no need to worry him, but...”

“It was because he feared my father would realize what her dream meant.”

Merlin nodded. “Anyway, the day after, you took out Sophia for a ride. And of course, I couldn’t resist to you when said I’ll be your friend for life if I covered for you.”

Arthur winced. “I do regret it you know... It must not have been pleasant.”

Merlin smiled gently. “It wasn’t, but you’re forgiven.”

Arthur grinned and tightened his embrace for a second. “Just out of curiosity, what was the excuse you used?”

“I said you hadn’t been sure of your orders and asked me to check if you were riding out, and that I forgot.”

Arthur couldn’t stop the chuckle. “No wonder he thought you had a mental affliction.”

Merlin smiled faintly. “It was a good cover. Though it tended to make me end up in the stock, with your father.”

Arthur had the decency to look sorry. “You know... Now that you told me I had been enchanted, I remember... Once we were close to the river, she asked to me wait. I remember her talking, but not what-and at the time I didn’t wonder again. She was interrupted by a guard releasing a bolt on us-probably thinking we were bandits. Do you think she had started enchanting me?”

Merlin muttered, “Yeah, probably.” The warlock didn’t like the idea of Arthur being enchanted, no matter how long ago it was. Especially when it was a love spell.

Arthur noticed, and it made him smile. “Is it me, or you are very much protective of me?”

“Of course I am.” Merlin replied fiercely. Then flushed as he noticed the pleased smile on Arthur’s face.

“Oh, and she also reacted a bit... badly when I touched her walking staff. Is there a reason?”

“It was a magical staff, that’s why.”

“Oh. Of course.”

Merlin chuckled before taking up the rest of the tale. “Gaius, of course, noticed when I came back with fruits juice.” He commented dryly. “He asked me what I had done this time, and I said nothing, that it wasn’t my fault. I told him you wanted to get out of patrol and I covered for you and took the blame. He asked if you were prepared to let me do this, and I replied it had been your idea. He wondered why, and I replied Sophia. I told him you were besotted.” Merlin frowned. “Though you told me she started enchanting you in the forest... Maybe she had on her a natural enchantment. I wouldn’t be surprise, with her being-“

Arthur raised his eyebrows as Merlin snapped his mouth shut. “Yes?”

Merlin smirked. “That is for later.”

Arthur groaned.

“Anyway, Gaius seemed suspicious of you being besotted when you two had only just met; though I didn’t question it at that time. Gaius told me later that he went to Aulfric’s room and saw his staff. He saw the weird writings on it, but Aulfric arrived before he could analyze it much. Aulfric was angry, and his eyes glowed red.”

Arthur shuddered. “Oh, I remembered Morgana commenting I liked Sophia. I told her she made it sound as if it was a bad thing, but she said not necessarily-she just had never seen me fall for someone so quickly.” He paused, a bit embarrassed. “I told her it was okay to admit it if she was jealous.”

“Oh, Arthur!” Merlin chuckled.

“Quiet, you. I know I should have listen a bit more to her. She warned me she just wanted to protect me, that Sophia wasn’t what she seems. She told me she had a dream.” Arthur sighed. “I hadn’t the best reaction... I laughed, thinking she was making it up. Of course, she didn’t like it.”

Merlin bit his lip; both amused at Arthur’s embarrassment, and a bit embarrassed himself for his lover. And, under all that, he felt sad for Morgana. He could see it in his king’s eyes too, how the blond felt bad for having laughed at Morgana’s face.

“I could believe it when I saw you dressed.” Merlin started, taking the tale away from Arthur and his embarrassment. “I couldn’t believe that you wanted me to cover again, but when you said it had gone well the day before, I couldn’t resist again. And I ended up in the stock again.”

Arthur smirked, remembering how Merlin had assured he could lie without ending in said stock again. Then he frowned. “You know, it is while we were in the forest that my memories got blurry. I recall... her talking; and then all is a fog.”

“We can safely guess it was then she finished enchanting you. As for me, I came back to Gaius all covered in juice. As I told him, one would think the appeal of pelting the same person with fruit would wear off after a while, but, oh, no!”

Arthur snorted, then snapped his mouth shut as Merlin growled slightly at him.

“Gaius proceeds to comment you weren’t at the knighting ceremony, and I replied you wanted to make the most of your time left with Sophia. Then Gaius told me I shouldn’t have helped you, that he feared Sophia wasn’t all that she seemed.”

“Ah... Now is the time you and him realize there is danger and have to act?”

Merlin chuckled. “You can say that. He asked me what I knew of seers; and I replied I didn’t know much, just that they were supposed to be able to see the future. Gaius said it is an innate ability, those who have it are born this way.”

“But not like you, right?” Arthur suddenly asked.

Merlin nodded. “I’m not only one born with magic, but I’m the only one who could control it since my first breathes. Anyway, Gaius told me some seers didn’t even know they were seeing the future, and that it came in their dreams.”

“Morgana.”

“Exactly; though he didn’t tell me yet. I asked what it got to do with Sophia. He revealed that Morgana had a dream with Sophia inside it, the night before she arrived in Camelot. He admitted then that he had been watching Morgana since she was very young. He tried to persuade himself otherwise, but some of the things she dreamed came to pass. He kept it a secret from your father of course. The gift of prophecy is too close to magic.”

“Of course...” Arthur muttered, both sad and angry.

Merlin soothed his King by kissing his jaws. It was becoming one of his favourite things to do. Once Arthur’s sky blue eyes glanced down at him with fondness, Merlin talked again. “I asked if he thought Morgana was a seer, he said he feared so. He told me Morgana dreamed of Sophia killing you. Or well, in fact what looked like it.”

At Arthur’s questioning eyes, Merlin explained, “Morgana is one of the best seers. Most of what she dreamed happened. But anyone seeing the future has to be careful when interpreting it. It isn’t always as it seems. For example, Morgana saw you drowning, but she didn’t you dead.”

Arthur blinked. “Are you saying I did drown?” Then he frowned. “You speak as if you know...”

“You did.” Merlin said, shivering. “I saved you, obviously.” Then he glanced away. “I might have seen the future once or twice-with help.” He shook his head as Arthur opened his mouth. “Not now.”

“Alright.” Arthur sighed; though at least he knew he would hear about it at some point.

“I asked if maybe it had just been a dream, maybe the woman Morgana saw had just looked like Sophia. Gaius said it was what he had hoped; but if course things weren’t that easy. He told me how Aulfric caught him in Sophia’s room and how his eyes turned red. I asked who they were; and he said he wasn’t worried about who they were, but what they wanted with you.”

Arthur shuddered.

“During the night, I followed Aulfric. He went to lake Avalon.”

“The same lake I met my parents earlier?” Arthur asked.

“Yes; it is the gates to Avalon.” Merlin smiled. “I kind of know its guardian.”

Arthur furrowed his brow in puzzlement, then widened his eyes in understanding. “You are the one who let my parents come and see me?”

Merlin nodded with a gentle smile. “I felt like you needed them.”

Arthur just stared, speechless. He felt tears gather in his eyes. The gift of seeing his parents had already touched him so much; but to know Merlin had been behind that, and not just some random event?

Merlin squeaked as Arthur suddenly rolled onto him, pressing Merlin’s body on the rug with his own body. Arthur burrowed his nose into Merlin’s neck, leaving butterfly kisses on the pale throat. A moan escaped Merlin’s mouth, followed by a cry as he felt Arthur’s nipping at his neck. His magic surged inside him, making him tremble. He felt sensitive suddenly, each of Arthur’s touches enhanced.

Sensing how Merlin’s arousal rose from his kisses, Arthur smiled. He raised his head, happy tears still blurring his vision. “Thank you Merlin, for what you did today.”

Merlin just stared back into Arthur’s loving eyes, unable to stop the kind smile that formed. He raised his hand; caressing lightly Arthur’s cheek with such tenderness the blond closed his eyes in bliss. “Anything for you, my king. I love you.”

Arthur kissed Merlin’s wrist, feeling his pulse with his lips. “And I love you.” He placed his head on Merlin’s chest, wrapping his arms around his torso. Merlin, in turn, wrapped his own around Arthur’s chest, kissing his hairs.

Staying like that, Merlin continued talking, his voice lowering to a soft whisper. “Aulfric yelled he sought an audience with the Sidhe elders, then chanted in a language I didn’t know; and magic rippled in the area. The lake turned a soft blue; and small forms of light flew out of it. They were fast, so I slowed down time for my eyes.”

“Didn’t they notice?” Arthur wondered softly.

Merlin smiled against the blond hairs. “No. I didn’t strictly slowed down time, like the first time I saved you. In a sense, what I should say is that I enabled myself to see faster. It was wonderful, you know. There were small blue fairies; and I did catch a glimpse of something inside the lake. I didn’t see much, but I understand now I caught a glimpse of Avalon.”

Arthur raised his eyes a bit, watching Merlin with awe.

“Aulfric plead for a chance to win passage back at Avalon and a life of immortality. One of the fairies came in front of him and told him his punishment for killing another Sidhe was a mortal body and a mortal life.”

“Sidhe?”

“Basically, the fairies. They are a kin that lives in Avalon. Anyway, the Sidhe said Aulfric couldn’t return in Avalon. He begged that the crime was his, not his daughter. The Sidhe answered that the gates would stay closed to his daughter unless they offered the soul of a mortal prince.”

“I can see where this is heading...”

Merlin chuckled. “Yeah, as you might have guessed, he promised your soul in exchange of an immortal life for Sophia. The Sidhes left, and I had to hide behind the tree because Aulfric turned.”

“Close call.” Arthur mumbled unhappily.

“Yeah. Though I left without trouble and went straight to talk to Gaius. He is the one who told me I saw Avalon. Gaius was kind of... awed, I think. He asked what it looked like. I asked if it mattered, because they were going to sacrifice you; and we didn’t know who they were. Gaius said we did now. He searched about the writings of Aulfric’s staff; and found it was an ancient script. He guessed they were Sidhe.”

“You mean, Aulfric and Sophia too?”

Merlin nodded. “Gaius said they were master of enchantment; and this was the moment we guessed you were enchanted. We were confirmed the day after. You requested an audience with you father to ask permission to marry Sophia.”

Arthur winced. “I do recall faintly asking that. It didn’t go well with my father, right?”

“Well, at first he just laughed. He thought you were joking. But you confirmed your intention, and he said you met only two days before. You said again you two were in love. And you said you were going to marry her, without care of what he thought about it.”

Arthur winced again.

“Your father said he thought you came to ask for permission. And you replied it was just out of courtesy. Your father called the guards to prevent you two from leaving. He said you forgot whose court you were in, and you replied he wouldn’t stop you. He called for Sophia and Aulfric’s arrest; and said to inform the executioner would be needed the morning after.”

“He really took it bad...” Arthur sighed. “I know I was enchanted, but I can’t believe...”

“That he would just kill someone because you loved them?”

Arthur nodded. “He almost did it again with Gwen. I never understood why he rebelled to me being in love.”

Merlin smiled sadly. “He seemed to believe marriage wasn’t about love.”

Arthur looked at Merlin intensively and said, “But it is.”

Merlin just blushed, and started his take again. “You said he couldn’t do this, and he answered that he could; and that he would if you didn’t show him some respect. You didn’t say anything, which I think meant you were backing down. He asked for them to be released; and told you that you had your whole life ahead of you. That Sophia might your first love, but she wouldn’t be the only one; and to enjoy yourself while you could.”

Arthur looked a bit surprised. “I wouldn’t have thought he could say things like that...”

Merlin shrugged. “Your father did love you; he thought doing the good thing for you.”

Arthur hummed, shifting a bit. Merlin smiled and rolled slightly, smirking when he heard Arthur letting out a sound very close to a squeak in his surprise. They end up face to face, both on their side. Arthur glared when he saw Merlin’s smirk, and urged him to continue.

“I went after you, when you left the throne room. I found you in armour and packing. You told me to get out; though of course I stayed. I told you the king had been harsh.”

Arthur smiled fondly. “Trying to cheer me up?”

Merlin flushed. “Well yes.”

Arthur noticed Merlin didn’t talk again. “Merlin... Why have you stopped?”

Merlin glanced down. Arthur shifted closer, pressing their chest together as he wrapped his arm around Merlin’s waist. Both had their head lying on the rug; and Arthur kissed Merlin’s nose. Merlin wrinkled his nose and smiled faintly.

“I just... You were enchanted and...”

Arthur’s eyes saddened a bit. “Did I say something?” Merlin nodded after some hesitation. “Tell me, Merlin. How many times will I have to ask you to share everything?” He said fondly.

Merlin looked back into his eyes with a small smile. “You first said you didn’t need sympathy, especially from me. I told you your father had a point; and you said you ordered me to get out. I started telling you I knew you thought you were in love with Sophia; and you asked who I were to tell you what you thought. I replied I was your friend.”

Arthur fumed against what his past self already said, but Merlin’s unconscious pained eyes warned him the worst was to come. “What did I say then?”

“You said... No, that I was your servant.”

This broke Arthur’s heart. Even then, Arthur saw Merlin as his friend. He could see it had hurt Merlin, despite Arthur being enchanted. And it hurt Arthur too. The king leaned in, brushing his lips to Merlin’s with tenderness. Merlin eagerly reacted, catching Arthur’s top lips with his. The kiss was apology, and reassurance both. A last moment before putting in the past this sad memory of their past.

When they parted, Merlin smiled at Arthur before tucking his head beneath Arthur’s chin. Arthur rolled on his back, and Merlin followed-both finding themselves in the position they had settled on for most of the tale now.

After listening to Arthur’s heart for a bit, Merlin talked anew. “I didn’t let it stop me; I told you that you didn’t know what you were doing. I told you that you were enchanted. Of course, Aulfric and Sophia chose that moment to come inside. Sophia told you that she had warned you people would want to keep you two apart.”

Arthur wrinkled his nose in distaste. “What did I say?” He wanted to know what his enchanted self was like, but above all; he wanted to know if he had said hurtful things again.”

“You just smiled you knew and that you wouldn’t let it happen. I warned you not to listen to her, that she was controlling you. She told you that you could elope together, get away from Camelot and the people. I changed tactics and told Aulfric I saw him. I told you they planned to sacrifice you. Aulfric scoffed and asked you if you let your servant talk to your guest this way.”

Arthur muttered, “Of course, especially when said guests deserved it.”

Merlin smirked slightly. “Good to know I can chomp off the head of anyone who look you the wrong way.”

Arthur chuckled. “Just don’t scare them to death.” He teased lightly; somehow convinced Merlin could scare anyone if he wanted to.

Merlin hummed and then continued his tale. “I told Aulfric I knew what they were going to do because I followed him to the lake and heard everything. I asked you to believe me then.”

Arthur winced. “I guess it didn’t go well?”

Merlin turned thoughtful. “Actually... I think... Yes, you weren’t answering, hesitating. I believe... that you did hear me through the enchantment. I don’t know if it was my magic subconsciously acting or our bond, but you were listening to me.”

Arthur was surprised; however it soon turned to a pleased smirk. “Well, it seems like we always had a strong soul bond, _love_.”

Merlin blushed slightly, glancing down as he smiled with small delight. “I believe so too.” He whispered reverently. He looked up again as Arthur urged him up, and let out a small noise as his King kissed his nose.

“So, what did happen?” Arthur asked.

Merlin settled back comfortably on his chest. “Sophia said not to listen to me. She wanted to go, to leave this night. I told you she was going to kill you; that she planned to sacrifice you for a life of immortality and that if you went with her you would die. It was quite obvious you were confused and fighting back the enchantment. You said it didn’t make sense because you were in love. Though it felt like you questioned it yourself. I told you they were magical beings; and I told you to look at the writings on their staff.” Merlin sighed. “That’s when I did a mistake.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow in question.

“I went to grab for Aulfric’s staff, but it angered him and his eyes glowed red. I told you to look at his eyes, to see. What I didn’t realize until you turned toward me with red eyes is that he was strengthening the enchantment.”

Arthur winced.

“I realized I was kind of cornered, so I tried for a run. But Aulfric pointed his staff at me and chanted in the Sidhe language. A bolt of energy hit me and threw me against the wall.”

“What?” Arthur shrieked. “Did it hurt you a lot?”

“Well...” Merlin blushed sheepishly. “I believe my magic actually saved me. I think it was a fatal blow. But I just ended up unconscious.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows. “Was it what you mean when you said your magic protected you?”

Merlin nodded. “It is one of the times it protected me.”

The king, hearing this, wondered how many time his lover had faced danger and almost didn’t come out victorious. Honestly, Arthur didn’t like it.

“I was awakened by Gaius. He told me later Morgana had seen you leave with Sophia and Aulfric; and she had rushed to tell Gaius. He asked her if she trusted him, and he told her he would take care of it. He found me in your chambers. He helped me get up, though all I was thinking of was to go after you.” Merlin giggled. “And that I was wondering what was the buzzing noise.”

Arthur laughed despite the climax of the story coming to a close.

“Gaius told me I couldn’t go in this state, and that I owed to my powers I survived. I told him you would die if I didn’t go. He couldn’t very well stop me after that. He just asked me to be careful.” Merlin smiled with embarrassment. “I do think I went first for the window.”

“Oh, only you, Merlin. Only you.”

Merlin chuckled. “So, I chased after Aulfric and Sophia, rushing at the lake Avalon. I knew you three would be there. When I arrived, Aulfric was chanting, and Sophia was watching you as you were drowning.” He recalled with a shiver.

Arthur tightened his grip. “Morgana’s vision.” He realized.

“Yes. From what I know, when Morgana or I saw the future, it always came to pass. Though, it wasn’t always as we thought. Like with Sophia, Morgana saw you drowning with Sophia above you, but nothing showed you dying. It was only her that assumed.”

Arthur nodded in understanding; curious to hear when Merlin had seen the future-but knowing it wasn’t a tale for now.

“My blood ran cold at the sight, and I used a spell to call Sophia’s staff toward me. Then I used it to... disintegrate Aulfric. And then Sophia.”

Arthur whistled. “They got you angry?”

“Kind of. I was angry, but above all I knew I had only a few minutes to save you. I didn’t hesitate to get into the lake of search for you.” Merlin shuddered. “It was one of the worst minute of my life, I couldn’t find you right away. Though in the end I caught you and brought you up.”

Arthur could understand the feeling. He still remembered how he had felt when Merlin had been hit with the Dorocha. He pushed Merlin closer to kiss his cheek. “You saved me in the end.” His lips turned upward in a smile. “And you and Gaius made me believe you hit me with a lump of wood!”

Merlin laughed, remembering Arthur’s face during this conversation. “We were only too happy you didn’t want anyone to know!”

Arthur growled. “Admit it, you and Gaius said this to make sure _I_ didn’t want anyone to know.”

Merlin smiled too sweetly. “Of course not my Lord! Beside, you avenge yourself by making me lie to the king again!” He glowered.

Arthur coughed, knowing he was guilty of that. “At least it created the idea you had a mental affliction; which helped you in the past, from what I came to understand.”

Merlin pouted. “Yeah alright; but it wasn’t nice getting pelted with fruits again! And _potatoes_ , Arthur. Potatoes!”

Arthur chortled in mirth at that, gaining a slap on the arm from Merlin. The warlock grumbled slightly, before ending his tale. “Morgana came during the evening, saying she had troubled nights. She told us you said to her what ‘actually’ happened. I felt a bit sad to lie to her too; but Gaius said she couldn’t find out the truth. I asked why not, as she helped save you. He said that if your father found out, things would never be the same again. It had to stay a secret.”

Arthur sighed. “He was probably right, but for some reason... I’m not sure he would have executed her on spot.”

“Honestly, I don’t think so too.” Merlin recalled how Uther had asked of Gaius to heal Morgana with magic; but it wasn’t a tale for now. Then he added, “I asked if she was life me, if she could use magic. Gaius answered no one was like me.”

For some reason, Arthur felt like it hadn’t helped too much Merlin at that time to hear that; to know you were alone even in the magical world. Arthur swore that no matter what, he would make sure Merlin realized he was never alone, and that he had his rightful place at Arthur’s side-and in Arthur’s heart.

“I asked if she had the gift; and Gaius said that for her sake, he hoped not.” Merlin sighed sadly. “We know how that turned to be...”

Arthur sighed as well and nodded. Then he smiled faintly. “Tell me about the next story?”

_To be continued..._


	9. Note for updates

Hello dears!

I know what we tend to worry about when there's a note and not a chapter as update, so let me tell you: don't worry about discontinued stories. This note is, in fact, to reassure you that I have not forgotten my stories, or my readers, and that I have every plans to update. However, keyword might be eventually.

I know I made a similar note in the past, about how I might take a while quite often, and I feel very happy that a lot of you have been telling me it is fine. I do feel guilty that I make you all wait, but feeling guilt will slow me down, and so I do my best to see it as waiting to offer you what I really want.

So what I do want to share though is why I happen to take time. This isn't about excuses, but because I believe that understanding why I might not update as fast as I'd like will help the wait.

Fanfictions wise, I tend to have my focus change depending on what fandom catch my interest. I think it's easy to notice, as I suddenly write for a new fandom, and quite fast at first. The thing is, years ago I told myself to only write at most two fanfictions at once, so I would be able to update those on a regular basis. I still follow that rule… for a give fandom.

So yeah, you will notice I rarely have more than two ongoing fanfictions for one fandom, but I have been writing in various fandom and they piled up. At the present time, I have 6 ongoing fanfictions (2 for BBC Merlin, 1 for Pokemon, 1 for Natsume Yuujinchou, 1 for White Collar, 1 for FNAF), 1 YGO GX story is sort of hiatus until I figure out a new plot, and 2 stories for KKM that I decided to reboot as one. However, out of all those, one BBC Merlin story, the WC story, the KKM reboot and the FNAF story are parts of series, meaning there will be even more stories to follow. If that wasn't enough, I do have one-shots and projects as well as plot ideas. I once said this and it's still true: I have enough ideas in every fandom I am in the last my entire lifetime.

I've decided to try and focus on finishing my ongoing stories not part of series, and in general work on my current ongoing stories. In other words, I plan to finish stories before starting new multi chaptered one, however without rushing those. I can't say the time it will take. I am currently most into Natsume, so Secret of Dark Red should be the most often updated. There is my WC series, though it is a collection of one-shots into one story, Tales of Black Wings. I want to update my Merlin ones, and my Pokemon one, and my FNAF one. In the end, I didn't forget any of those, but I have to try and tackle one or two at a time.

Now if it was only this, I might work it out fast. But the fact is: I do other forms of writing. I've been roleplaying on tumblr for a few years now, which includes muses that are inspired from some of my fanfictions (or muses that inspired the fanfictions). And it does take some energy/time/focus out of me. On the other end, it gives me writing training, because there's challenge to having half of the storyline often unknown because even if we plot, we rarely plot details and so each reply has potential for something unexpected. And when it comes to canon muses, weither or not they match a fanfiction, it gives me insight on who they are.

And then, I happen to write as my career. I took the decision back in 2012, and a few months back I chose to post on internet (Wattpad, , Tumblr, they're on my profile) for free while choosing as source of income. I've published by first novel already, as well as two smaller scale novels from Wattpad challenges. I am working on my second novels, while also having small scale series going on my blog. As you can guess, I do try to put all this as priority.

In the end though, be it fanfiction, roleplaying, or original works; there is one fact on my writings that can never change. I need to feel motivated, in the mood, for write. And getting in the right mood can take any amount of time, which I have no control of. That's how I write, how I am, and the main reason I can update every few weeks, or every few months. Sometimes, I update for everything in one period of time, most often fall and winter. I am hoping to update more in the new few weeks.

Do know that I see every comment of course, but every like and follow. I take joy in all of them, in knowing people still read what I write no matter how long it has been. I do realize there isn't the same excitement as when a story is updated regularly, but to those that still read and wait, I'm very grateful and promise you will get more to read.

Now, I'm finishing this note with a suggestion. I have a tumblr blog for my fanfictions, which is chrisemrysblog dot tumblr dot com. You will see posts about my progress, projects, but you can also message me. You can even ask me about a story, headcanons, worldbuilding, etc. You can also ask about roleplay blogs for characters that are from a story, though most often the blogs would have spoilers. This blog is a good place to keep track of stories, while it will show me more visibly who is following a story.

Thank you for reading this, and thank you for the support you've given. I hope I will see you around, and that you will enjoy your liked stories when they update!

Chris


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